James Sirius Potter II's Guide to Hogwarts
by lucy quinn fabray
Summary: JSPII. "Since I don't truthfully think you guys will be able to survive the rest of your years at Hogwarts, I figured I would be nice enough to compile this loose guide for all of you." On Indefinite Hiatus!
1. First Impressions

...Surviving  
James Sirius Potter II's Guide to ^ Hogwarts  
By: Loligo7687

I'd like to thank my best buddy, Ashley (more commonly known as Shinja) for the story she wrote in Lauren's POV. And the first quotation McGongall says when she first meets James! Thank you again! I hope you enjoy the first chapter. James and the world of wizards belongs to J.K. Rowling. Lauren belongs to Ashley, and Vega to me.

If you have suggestions for another chapter, I'd be happy to hear it. Let me know in the reviews. Read on! (:

Loligo7687

_**Author's Note**_ **(5/15/11):**

Just wanted to clarify that Lauren's POV is included in the chapter because Shinja wrote Lauren's side of the story and also because James' version of the ordeal would be horribly skewed and embellished on his end. xD

The guide is tangible; more or less a book he's writing it in. The Detention chapter later on would be example. This concept is also important a little later on in Chapter 25!

~Lucy

**_Author's Note_ (7/14/12):**

After much thought, I've decided that it's best to place this on indefinite hiatus.

I explain a bit on my profile, but basically I've run myself into the ground with poor planning. Many of my head canons have also changed (re: more Potter sibling interactions, for example) and it's too late to start over. I want to continue to write Next Generation, but in a different verse than I've written here. I love this regardless. It was fun writing and I hope you had a nice laugh or two along the way. C:

Plus there are just so many mistakes I didn't catch and ;lfdwj;elrk;ewlkrkwe;r. Sorry! :C

Story image was edited in Photoshop and James Sirius Potter's face character is Aaron Johnson.

Thanks for reading!

~Lucy

* * *

Chapter 1: First Impressions

Dear Albus, Lily, Rose, Hugo, and anyone else who cares,

Since I don't truthfully think you guys will be able to survive the rest of your years at Hogwarts, I figured I would be nice enough to compile this loose guide for all of you. Within it, I list important issues such as Headmistress McGonagall and those infamous Howlers Ginny likes to send. Though I'd much like to revel in the fact that you'd make the same mistakes as I, I'll instead show you my past experiences. But hey, that's what big brothers and cousins are for! Enjoy!

Sincerely Yours,  
James Sirius Potter II

Despite what you may all think, first impressions are _very_ important. They determine relationships and future events believe it or not. Though I'm handsome and charming, not everyone took to me at first. The following three stories will illustrate what you should not do.

The first anecdote deals with the lovely Lauren DiGiacomo. A Seventh Year Slytherin and fiery in temper, we were acquainted at first on the Hogwarts Express. Yes, Albus, I know I'm slightly hypocritical. But I fell in love with her. And so, I'm not allowed to tell the story in my words – else I'll suffer a similar fate in the story. Lauren's point of view is present below:

_This had to have been the best day of Lauren's eleven year old life. Never before had excitement ran through her veins at such an ecstatic rate as it did at that very moment, as she ran through Platform 9 ¾, on her way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She had purchased all of her supplies the previous day at Diagon Alley, which was some sort of wizarding marketplace. Lauren was overwhelmed with the new sights and discoveries; she was Muggle-born, and Muggles did not teach their children about the wizard world (not that they knew of it in the first place)._

_Dark brown hair was pulled back in spunky pigtails that bounced off her shoulders as she walked confidently down the aisles of the Hogwarts Express. The scarlet steam engine was roaring, announcing that it would be leaving the station soon. She needed to find a seat and she needed to find it quickly._

_Her blue-green eyes looked back and forth between the compartments. Most were full of older students buzzing about news of their summer adventures, while some were crowded with first year students such as herself. Everyone was anticipating an amazing time at the school, obviously. If only she could find an available seat…_

_Aha! Spotting a compartment with a group of first year girls giggling around it, Lauren pushed her way through. There was only one person in there; a boy about her age. He had a dark mop of brown-black hair and dark brown eyes. He had a cocky, crooked grin on his face as he talked to the ladies around him, obviously sweet-talking them to the high heavens._

_The only thing worse than an overly-confident jerk was the overly-confident jerk's fan girls._

_Growling something under her breath, Lauren slid the glass door open forcefully. "Unless those seats are reserved for the Queen of England, I'm sitting in here." She said harshly. She had no intention of walking any further._

_The boy arched a brow. "Well, I was going to pick a few lucky ladies to grace me with their presences—"_

_"Exactly, you were. Now you'll just have to settle with me." She said icily._

_"Uh, excuse me. Do you know who I am?" he asked._

_Oh great, the kid had a title?_

_"You're the annoying toad who is holding up the traffic in the aisles. You're also the pathetic moron who was about to hold me back from getting in a compartment that is open to the public." Lauren replied coolly with a plastic smile._

_"I'm James Potter," the boy said. Quickly he blinked a few times, as if remembering something he'd forgotten. "The second," he added quickly (as if it mattered to her)._

_"Oh, so we're introducing ourselves? In that case, I'm Lauren DiGiacomo," she said in a sickeningly sweet tone. "The one and only." She added in the same quick manner James did, though she was clearly sarcastic._

_James obviously took offence to this._

_"Uh do you have any idea who my dad was?" he asked in a diva-like tone._

_Lauren rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "Humor me."_

_"Hello! Harry Potter!" James exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air. When Lauren reacted with slight puzzlement, James sighed, clapping a hand to his forehead. "Oh c'mon…The-Boy-Who-Lived!"_

_Lauren arched a brow._

_"The one who defeated You-Know-Who…?"_

_Still no reaction on Lauren's part._

_"You know…the ring leader of the legendary Golden Trio?" James asked, looking desperate to become recognized._

_Lauren shrugged. "If all you're going to do is act like a bumbling idiot the whole ride, I might as well read a book. Better yet, I'll write one. It'll be a comedy…care to inspire me?"she asked wickedly, smirking. In the meantime, she pulled a heavy looking textbook from her trunk which she had failed to put overhead._

_James narrowed his eyes. "Oh, you're cool." He muttered sarcastically. A comedy? About himself? Hah, the only funny one was her! She didn't know who Harry Potter was! What, did she live under a rock?_

_"At least I'm not funny looking."_

_Lauren snapped the book shut, grinding her teeth. "Excuse me?"_

_"You heard me!"_

_Lauren stood suddenly, grabbing James by the front of his robes, lifting him from his seat. "Any last words, Potter? You know, before I pound you into dog food?" she asked, nose inches away from James' own nose._

_"Yeah. I think you look like you could model." James said in a suave tone._

_Lauren's grip loosened as she eyed him suspiciously._

_"You know, for death threats."_

_Suddenly Lauren's fist flew in a mean right hook, plowing into James' jaw. She dropped him, kicked him hard in the stomach, grabbed her trunk and left the compartment without a sound._

_And so the tale began._

Yes, the tale began that very day. Our relationship was rocky and tumultuous for the next six years, until I pestered her enough to reconcile and go on a date with me. Yeah, McGonagall mentioned something about me catching my grandfather's curse, whatever that was.

**Moral of the story: ** Don't act like a complete idiot in front of strangers. Especially if they end up in Slytherin and threaten to beat you up every day. They'll make your life hell. And there's a small chance you'll never get that _first chance_ again…

The second story has to deal with the unexpected friendship between Vega and I. She's actually quite different from me, seeing as she studies and is quiet. I have been told I'm extremely obnoxious and ready to fail out of school any day now. Not that it hurt me at all; it could be construed as a very nice comment. That's a long shot. But even this story turned out better than I could have expected:

Albus and I were practicing Quidditch skills on the grounds since the stadium was closed to individual practice at the time. We were helping each other balance our skills between Seeker and Beater, which to say the least went well. I threw acorns at the poor kid and he did pretty well.

Anyway, we stopped practice in the middle of it. It was sort of cold since it was the beginning of December and snow was covering the ground. I hatched an idea to pass the time by launching snowballs and spells at unsuspecting victims. Albus was clearly against it, so he sat off on the sidelines.

Taking my wand from inside my jacket, I searched for my perfect target. Vega was coming toward the two of us with a bazillion books in tow and her robes showed under her winter apparel. As she walked by the tree, I silently muttered the spell to produce water to soak her clothes and books. Wouldn't that be ironic? But Albus went to stop me by producing his own spells, which somehow made me mutter another spell that accidentally produced sparks that ignited her robes.

She turned around and gasped at the sight. "Get it out!" she shrieked, looking at the both of us helplessly.

"I don't know, do something Albus! It's your fault!" I exclaimed, as he returned a sour look. He shook his head and said the spell that cast a jet of water on the spreading flames.

It turned out that she had forgotten her wand in her bag in her room, which wouldn't have helped her in this situation anyway. Vega looked once more at the smoldering flames and looked at me for an apology.

"It's not that hard, James," Albus said, poking me in my ribs. I conceded since I was caught trying to prank the poor girl.

"I'm sorry, okay? It's my nature," I said, half-heartedly.

Vega inspected us closer. "You must be the Potter boys, right? I'm Vega Madison Dering, but you can call me Vega. Oh, and I'll accept your apology. No harm done. Bye now."

She skipped off, leaving me in wonder. I was expecting some sort of retaliation, like I did with Lauren. Luckily it was the formation of a rare friendship, of which my terrible first impression set the mood off wrong but somewhat right.

**Moral of the story: **Setting people on fire is okay - actually not really. Don't try to prank people while your goody brother is beside you, and you'll be fine. And you might get a friendship out of it, even if their robes are singed a little.

Lastly, hopefully you've made a good impression on Headmistress McGonagall. Since she's in charge and an old bat, sometimes you can work her out of a stupid punishment like cleaning vials for the Potions teacher. Ugh, it's simply revolting at that. At least she liked our parents, mind you – that will give us some favoritism over most.

Though I swear the chair in the office has my name written all over it, sometimes…

Here's the first story of what happened in our first encounter:

After Lauren punched me in the jaw (and nose, but conveniently she forgot to mention that) and kicked me in the ribs or stomach, whatever, I ended up going right to the Hospital Wing. The very first day I went to Hogwarts, can you imagine? I couldn't heal my own nose as an inexperienced wizard!

Wincing as Madame Pomfrey worked her magical wonders on my nose and jaw, the old bat herself walked in and examined my progress.

"Well, well, well, Mr. Potter. It seems that you already have gotten yourself into mischief and you haven't even been Sorted into your House yet!" she exclaimed, adjusting her very pointed hat on her head.

"How do you know me?" I asked, slightly confused. I hadn't known anyone at Hogwarts yet; maybe she was a teacher? Oh no, she was Headmistress. Ouch.

"I know your father, Harry. He was a pupil of mine when he came here," she replied.

"Okay, so who are you?" I asked again, causing Madame Pomfrey to gasp a little. What, had I committed murder? So sue me if I didn't know!

"I'm the Headmistress of Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall. Professor McGonagall will do as well," she said, addressing herself in a high manner. I guess she was allowed to.

"So, Minny, when's the Sorting going to happen?" continued my endless amount of questions, and out of the corner of my eye I saw her grimace at me.

"Professor McGonagall, if you please, Mr. Potter. I think I have the feeling that you're much like your grandfather than your father now."

"Wait, like Grandpa Arthur? I'm going to like Muggle artifacts?"

McGonagall face palmed herself. "No, your other grandfather; your namesake, James."

"Oh. Okay?" I replied, slightly confused. She shook her head.

"Nevermind, Mr. Potter. The ceremony will begin shortly. Hopefully Madame Pomfrey will patch you up before then. And I'd advise you to not engage in any conversation with Ms. DiGiacomo any time soon."

With that, the old bat left. And I would be seeing her once a week after that – I always found a way into her office. I had my own practical password, you know.

**Moral of the story: **Have parents that went to Hogwarts and were on good terms with McGonagall. That way, she can't really rag on you. On the downside, she can contact your parents easily. Though the benefits I've gotten were my own personal password and free trips from class. And never, ever, call her Minny unless you want to spend a week with Hagrid in the Forbidden Forest…


	2. Professor Longbottom

**_Author's Note: _**

Hello again! This chapter has to do with Professor Longbottom and Herbology class. I had always imagined Neville to go on and head the Gryffindor House when he was teaching at Hogwarts. And, hopefully I've gotten the Mandrake sequence right, considering how long ago it was when I last read/watched _Chamber of Secrets_. (Oh, and chapters will vary between 1,000-2,000 words considering this one is very short.)

Again, suggestions for chapters are always welcomed!

Loligo7687

**

* * *

**

Chapter 2: Professor Longbottom

**Moral of the story: **If Ginny ever tells you to 'give love' to Professor Longbottom, just do it. Don't complain unless you can get away with it.

Why have I placed the moral of the story (but I'm sure there's more to come) at the beginning of this chapter? It's the _most_ important. Since they are such good friends with him, it's expected that you oblige to their every wish. I personally interpret it as doing the typical hello and go on about my folks for a little while. And, that way, you can fake it a little when you have to report back.

Professor 'Neville' Longbottom was a fellow Gryffindor like me and my parents when he attended Hogwarts. Although he was in Harry's grade, I've heard that he was best friends with Ginny and Luna (another family friend). The stories say that he had been shy and awkward at first, but his mannerisms dictated otherwise. Confidence and loyalty were obvious, especially when it came to Gryffindor students. He took pride in his former House and even went on to head it. I also had to answer to him, which just as easily could go directly to my parents. Dang connections; remember that when you decided to do something bad. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Lily Luna Potter!

He taught Fifth Years and below, unless one was interested in taking the N.E.W.T. level. I think Professor Longbottom just tricked me into taking it all seven years. Since my planned course of study 'recommended' it, I took Herbology all seven years. If you don't plan on working with plants, don't take it after your fifth year. Sorry, Professor Longbottom. I've had enough with Mandrakes and slime squirting plants for a lifetime.

The next anecdote has to deal with the very lovely Lauren DiGiacomo again. Gryffindors and Slytherins shared classes together, as they still do, in Herbology. Thankfully, it was rarely a double period, considering I got hungry the period before lunch. Oh, and by the way, Mandrakes don't like being nibbled on. They don't taste that great either. Stick to green beans, kids.

It was a perfect sunny day during my second year at Hogwarts. Herbology class was being spent inside the greenhouse today, which was highly ironic. Professor Neville Longbottom decided to teach us about Mandrakes and what they could be used for. Yeah, for what? Knocking people out?

Conversing with my fellow Gryffindors, we casually poked at the flowerpots in front of us. We also decided to engage in some banter with the Slytherin girls across the table.

"Oi, Lauren! Fancy a date with me tomorrow?" I asked, grinning.

"No, I do _not_ fancy a date with you, Potter. I don't fancy you either," she replied, smirking. "Why don't you throw yourself over a --"

"Class! Settle down," said Professor Longbottom, immediately quieting the entire class.

"Now, can anyone tell me why Mandrakes are useful?"

I piped up. "To knock people out?"

"Sorry, Mr. Potter. That is incorrect, I'm afraid. They do more than that. Anyone else?" Professor Longbottom asked.

A Gryffindor girl raised her hand. "Once properly harvested, they can be used to make an antidote to help Petrified people," she answered.

"Correct! Five points to Gryffindor!"

I threw a smirk toward Lauren. She returned one as well.

"Alright, everyone, pick the earmuffs up in front of you and place them over your ears. Quickly now!" instructed Professor Longbottom, placing his own set of earmuffs over his ears.

"When you grab your Mandrake…" Professor Longbottom started to explain, but I drifted when I saw movement from the corner of my eye. Lauren was trying to get my attention.

"Come around, Lauren? I'll see you tomorrow night--"

"No, most definitely not. I wanted to play a little game of dare, Potter."

"…make sure you grab them firmly when you replant them in the other flowerpot…"

"What kind of dare?"

"You, Potter, have to take off your earmuffs when we pull the Mandrakes out."

"You have to do it too!"

"Fine, you annoying twit."

"…the cries of these Mandrakes are not fatal, but will knock you out for a couple hours…"

Of course, between Professor Longbottom's instructions/lecture and our conversation, the classmates around us were more interested in our dare. A curt nod from the both of us sealed the deal. Thankfully, our teacher hadn't heard our banter. He was too enveloped in his lesson to hear our somewhat hushed voices.

"Scared, Potter?"

"You wish."

"On the count of three: one, two, three!"

I took them off as promised by the number three of the count up. Lauren had taken hers off as well, fulfilling the dare. The last thing I remembered, however, was the smirk on Lauren's face and the shrieking plants around me…

**Moral of the same story: **Mandrakes _can_ really knock you out. It's not a joke. Oh, and remember, Slytherins are really cunning and Gryffindors cannot turn down a dare. It's a bad combination, especially when Fire Whiskey is involved (that's another story for another time).

Two hours and a headache or two later, I was finally coherent and awake. Landing myself in the Hospital Wing, Madame Pomfrey simply shook her head at me.

"You have a visitor, Mr. Potter," she said, letting Lauren in.

"It's a miracle! Merlin's beard! Call the nurse!"

"Shut up, Potter. I only came to give you this," she said smirking, pressing something into my palm.

"Wait, why aren't you here? You're supposed to be knocked out!" I asked, but Lauren had already left in a hurry. I shrugged.

Lauren had pressed a pair of ear plugs into my hand. I took my pillow and covered my mouth. I then proceeded to curse to the high heavens so Madame Pomfrey couldn't hear.

To this day, I still haven't figured out when she had put them in her ears. She won't tell me.

**Moral of the same story: **One word: revenge. It's actually the answer to everything. Someone steals your quill? Revenge! Either 'spill' ink on them, write over all their books or desk, or steal it back. The first two are more satisfying, but they'll probably end up getting you into trouble. Again, I reiterate, the Forbidden Forest is one scary place.


	3. Care of Magical Creatures

**_Author's Note: _**

Shinja wanted me to include a Care of Magical Creatures scene, similar to that of the one in the books/movies. We decided to role play it out (Shinja as Lauren and I as James) and it turned out so good that I decided to keep the whole thing (it's long, but well worth it!). I separated the sections by the POVs, starting with Lauren and alternating accordingly. Enjoy - and the moral of the story follows at the end.

Loligo7687

_**Author's Note**_ **(5/15/11):**

Also due to the reason stated in Chapter 1's author's note and above, Shinja and I role played this scene out and I kept what we had wrote so it doesn't really flow perfectly in a story format, but I had really liked the way we had written it. Lauren's POV starts out first, then James' separated by the '-x-'. I hope it's not too confusing!

~Lucy

* * *

Chapter 3: Care of Magical Creatures

Again, Lauren threatened me if I didn't tell the story right. We compromised and decided to tell the story side by side and mutually so the details wouldn't exactly become construed. This story takes place during our third year during Hagrid's class, but I'm sure you little prats are acquainted with the aftermath of the whole ordeal. Yeah, I haven't gotten over that yet. Read on:

Care of Magical Creatures had to be the _dumbest _subject known to Wizard kind. The lectures were boring, the activities were dull, and the textbooks were thick, heavy, and were sometimes impossible to read because they were written with such small lettering. During this class, Lauren wanted to die. It made her dread lunch, because it was right after that free half hour that she would be stuck learning about this junk.

It was a good eighty degrees outside, making everything even more uncomfortable. It had been chilly that morning, so everyone had been wearing their full robes and now people were peeling their layers off. Lauren was standing in the Forbidden Forest in her black uniform skirt, as well as her white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and her Slytherin tie that was loosened so she could unbutton the first two buttons. It helped cool her down, but not much.

"Alright, well, when approaching a Hippogriff, you first need to walk up real quiet and serious y'see, they're very proud creatures and like to be treated with dignity and respect," Hagrid said, gesturing to the silver and black creature that was part eagle and part horse (well, that was Lauren's best guess; she hadn't read the assignment last night).

"When you are close, maybe about five or so feet away, you need to bow and then if 'e bows back, you can touch 'im," Hagrid finished.

Lauren rolled her eyes. "And after I bow to a Hippogriff, I'm going to curtsy to a dragon," she scoffed quietly, her collection of girlfriends giggling.

"Well, Miss DiGiacomo, since you're so eager to take risks today, why don't you try greeting Buckbeak Junior first?" Hagrid said in his burly voice.

Lauren gave him an annoyed look as she stomped through the crowd, a good ten yards from the mighty beasty. After taking a deep breath, she walked forward slowly. After taking a few steps, she became more confident and straightened her posture. This wasn't so bad... until she lost her footing.

After a loud snap, Lauren felt herself fall and land with a 'thud' on her back. Suddenly the Hippogriff stood on its hind legs, screeching wildly and flapping its wings. Leaves on the ground swirled violently and Lauren screamed as well, throwing her arms up as if to protect herself. She was going to get trampled killed at age fourteen by a stupid bird-thing...and she didn't have a way to defend herself. Where was her wand...?

Oh yeah. It was in her bag, which was full of her afternoon books. Typical.

-x-

Actually, Care of Magical Creatures was a decent class. James Sirius Potter II never really like doing homework or attending classes, but it was mandatory and in his best interest if he wanted to pursue his long sought career. Hagrid was one of the most interesting teachers around, including Professor Longbottom, and he had known his father really well. And that got him some special treatment, which equaled visits to the hut whenever he was free. So, today they had traveled to the Forbidden Forest to see Hagrid's Hippogriff, which was relatively dangerous. On top of that, it was bloody hot out. James had to stuff his school robes inside his bag and roll up the sleeves of his shirt. It was still hot, however.

James stood near the front of the crowd near his Gryffindor peers, anxiously awaiting the lesson on the beast standing in front of them. Everyone seemed to be talking anyway, which made Hagrid unexcited to teach. So, he had picked on Lauren. She deserved it, that prat. Especially since she had refused his offers of a date now...five times this week? James laughed aloud but she simply had ignored him in her pride. She approached apprehensively, almost like she was scared. Bet she'd never admit that. That's when the story got real sad, however, when a stick crunched beneath her shoe. Ouch. Lauren had also fallen backward and nearby the Hippogriff.

It started to rear up and kick toward Lauren, who was screaming for her life. It didn't like sudden motions, and it was about to show what would happen to a person who didn't follow the customs. People around him were gasping, laughing, or crying, based on who the person was. Hagrid wasn't acting quickly and James didn't want to see his eventual-if-not-now girlfriend get killed in front of her very eyes. Mustering up a spell and the courage to walk (well, run) over to the scene, James yelled, "Protego!" A silvery-white shield erupted from the end of the wand, blasting the Hippogriff and girl away from each other.

Hagrid rushed over to the Hippogriff, checking if it were okay. Giving a hurtful expression to James, he tried to ignore it as he himself checked on Lauren. "Are you okay, Lauren?" James said blatantly, choosing to use a first name basis like always. He offered her a hand to help her up.

-x-

Lauren was preparing herself for death, though she didn't feel any pain. Had she already died? Was it a merciful, short death so she didn't feel anything? Well, opening her eyes would have probably clued her in to either what the afterlife looks like...or why she was still breathing. Cracking open one eye and then the other, Lauren was stunned when she saw the Protego charm being displayed in front of her...and she was also stunned at who had been the caster.

James?

Surely he was only doing this to boost his ego. He was still probably fuming at her because she had turned down his date proposals...what, five times this week? Either way, she had to be grateful that he had just rescued her. She watched as Hagrid consoled the bloody bird and took James's hand to get up. As soon as she put weight on her right foot she staggered considerably and cried out in pain.

"I think I broke my ankle," she squeaked, biting down hard on her lip and giving James a pleading look. She tested it again, wincing and swallowing hard. "Can you take me up to the Hospital Wing? I need a crutch," she said with a half smile, though she was regretting the fact that she was being friendly. Surely he would use this situation to his advantage; after all, that was James. She was a damsel in distress, and being the "chivalrous knight in shining armor" that he was, he would want repayment. The thought of what he might come up with horrified Lauren. She saw the pranks he pulled on her Housemates as well as his own; and they always ended in public humiliation. Great. She had reached her peak in popularity and now this git was going to ruin it.

After the two began walking towards the castle in silence and Hagrid continued his lesson, Lauren looked at James, who was helping her considerably up the rocky hill that led towards the Black Lake, and eventually the school building.

"James," she said softly. "Why did you do that back there? You could have been killed if your charm wasn't strong enough...why risk it?" she asked, barely recognizing her hushed tone. "I mean...I always thought that whole Gryffindors-Are-Courageous was a myth..." she finished.

-x-

James was slightly surprised that his spell had worked. But most of his confidence lay in the fact that he was the eldest son of the very famous Harry Potter himself and the fact that arrogance often took the place of fear. He had not made a fool of himself and he had saved Lauren from certain death. Though it probably cost him a visit to Hagrid's hut this week, it was well worth it to see that his eventual-girlfriend-and-later-on-to-be-wife alive than to care about a stupid bird horse thing. Sorry, Buckbeak Junior. Though he was alarmed when she cried out, it was only natural that something had broke during the whole scene. And it got him out of class.

He looked down to see her oddly shaped ankle. Ouch. "Yeah, from here I can see that's it's broken. Um, since I'm nice enough, I can and will take you there," James said, with his infamous grin.

He waved to Hagrid, though he was reluctant to interrupt the lesson again. "I'm taking Lauren to the Hospital Wing!" he yelled, and he placed an arm around her back to support her on their long walk to the castle. Silence plagued the air as they walked slowly back up the path. Until Lauren spoke, James had been entertained with the thoughts of him asking her out. How could she refuse?

But her soft tone startled him, and he (rare as it was) wanted to drop the proposition he had for her. "Why? The truth?" James said, refusing to make eye contact with her. Uh, not that it was slightly awkward. But after awhile, it got tedious receiving the same answer. Sometimes it was worth it, but others times it got futile.

"I'll admit, my bravery is driven by arrogance and fearlessness, but my choice was made because it was you,' James said, looking at the path in front of them. "Nah, it's true. The whole bravery, courageous thing. As I asked you a million times before, I want to go out with you. I mean it."

-x-

Lauren wasn't sure how to respond to James; he had saved her life because he was arrogant and reckless? Who knew those could be assets in life. "It seems that your brazen attitude has come in handy for once." she joked, wanting to hit herself for being so friendly with the guy she hated more than anything. But...how could she not, seeing as he just helped her out big time? She wasn't sure how to act in the slightest. Maybe just playing it cool and serious would make everything ok - she didn't want to come off as being admirable (because she wasn't) yet she did want him to know how grateful she was...

"I know you want to go out with me, James. The whole school knows. I even think Hagrid is catching on," Lauren sighed. "It doesn't mean that I'll just date you because of it," she finished, limping heavily and pausing in her slow gait for a moment to think. What should she do? She didn't want to come off as a total witch...no pun intended.

"Well...seeing as you just saved my life back there with the flick of a wand I think the least I can do is to give you one date," she said, holding up a single finger for emphasis. "One," she finalized. "And maybe, just maybe if you behave yourself we can call each other," she swallowed, looking slightly disgusted with herself.

"Boyfriend and girlfriend," she finished, looking as if she was recovering from the 'Eat Slugs' charm.

"But it has to be somewhere private where people won't see us, because I don't intend on having my reputation ruined because of the likes of you," she said, thinking of her conditions she would present. "And you can't tell anyone about this, and that includes your brother," she finished.

"Oh, and if you even try to kiss me, I wish you good luck trying to swim out of the Black Lake under a Confundus charm," she snapped. She meant business when it came to James; she did not feel like having the eldest Potter pull some sick kind of joke on her because she was probably ill from her fall and was actually giving him a chance.

-x-

For once? Psh, who was she kidding? The tone was joking, yet he had never heard her speak that way with him. It was always the same rough, tough, and mean remarks and rejections he received. So, basically, he was confused more than anything. "Yeah, I had hoped the begging had gone through by now," he replied, rolling his eyes. "And did I say that, Lauren? I didn't ask you technically. I said I wanted to."

James' tone darkened, seeing as he thought that, but his lips moved a different way. Maybe his tone had implied it, but something made him bite the request back. Maybe it was not about saving someone's life for a date, but in a bigger sense, it had to be mutual. If Lauren didn't like him, well, he'd certainly keep at it; at least until the situation passed over for now. It also seemed like the long trail would take forever to hike, seeing as Lauren forced him to come to a complete halt. What in the Merlin's...? His eyes found their way back to Lauren's face, but his expression remained stoic. Unmoving. Expressionless. He listened carefully... had she just... she just... accepted his offer? Though it was a slight blow to his character, it was still amazing that she had agreed to one date after James had saved her. Wow.

"As I understand correctly, you hereby agree to one date with the James Sirius Potter II of Gryffindor?" he said, with a small smile gracing his face now. "And, if all goes according to plan, our status can be upped?"

Wow. It was so weird to see Lauren's shield go down so quickly after an act of kindness. Or arrogance. Even though it was clearly his idea, she instead set her own rules that caused James to frown. "Okay, okay," said James, frowning severely now. "Now that you've made the rules clear, can I say something?"

-x-

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Yes, James. I agree to go on one date with you," she growled. "You like saying your full name a lot, don't you?" she asked as a rhetorical question. "And yes, James. But your chances are growing slimmer every time you address yourself by your full name," she muttered, though the very hint of a smile was playing on her lips.

Good Merlin was he annoying. Couldn't he just except the terms and be done with it? He couldn't just keep adding onto her terms; he was lucky he was even going on this date at all! Pressing her lips together, Lauren nodded. "Fine, fine. What do you want?" she asked coldly.

Quite frankly she didn't want to know what James's conditions were. She didn't want him to have the privilege of making decisions about the circumstances anyway, seeing as she'd be the tortured one and he would be the torturee. It hardly seemed fair. She waited for him to say something ridiculous, like declare her love for Nargles (a clearly untrue statement) in the middle of lunch one day, or she had to purposely miss a Quidditch match when Slytherin and Gryffindor were playing against each other. Great.

"They better be reasonable, because if they aren't then the deal is off, and I'll walk myself up to the Wing," Lauren said evenly, trying to hold back her harsh tone. "I'm in no mood to deal with half-witted gits like you at the moment. My ankle hurts, I'm hot, I've got a headache and I'm a tad irritable at myself for saying that I'll go on a date with you...Great Merlin..." she wanted to hit her head against the nearest tree. The nearest anything that was solid and might help knock some sense into her. Was she honestly considering this? Well, no, it was no longer considered; she had made the deal, but still! she didn't have to do anything for James, really. It was the polite thing to do, but when were Slytherins ever polite? Manners were for those pansy Hufflepuffs. Leave the please and thank-yous to those do-gooders. Hufflepuffs were the exact opposites of Slytherins in every way; even their house colors clashed.

-x-

"Okay, good. Just checking. But why not? It's like, the coolest name you'll ever hear. Even though I'm convinced that you _still_ don't know who my father was and how he stopped Voldemort. Whatever though, it's cool," replied James, clearly not understanding what a rhetorical question sounded like.

"What's wrong with my name?" he asked, clearly offended. However, he was bent on making his own terms clear because if she was going to lay down the guidelines, it would only be fair if he did the same. "Don't be pushy, Lauren," he chided, tapping his foot on the ground to get his thought process going. "I've got them, ready?"

He continued. "Number one - you have to call me James at all times. None of this rude crap you come up with. Even after this date. Number two - if we have to be in a private place, then we have to hold hands. It's a better alternative to kissing me, and I'd rather not drown. Number three - you have to attend this 'get-together' with me, even if our date doesn't work out or whatever. You can bring a friend, of course. And lastly, and most grave of all, I want you to let me pick the date's setting. Is it a deal, Lauren?" James had to laugh. "Nice try, but I'm sure you'll never make it up there alone. And besides, I'm sure that it's the heat that's getting to you."

-x-

Lauren listened intently to his terms. Well, they weren't unreasonable...even though the thought of holding hands with him made her want to vomit. "Fine," Lauren said stiffly. "But wait. What is this get-together you g- - ? " she asked with a nasty glare before softening into a fake smile so she wouldn't break the condition of the bet by calling him a git.

"I mean, James," she finished in a tone that was coated with sugar (whether the sugar was poisoned or not is an entirely different question). She wasn't thrilled about that third condition (not that any of them made her particularly jovial). She had no idea about what it might be, and quite honestly she wasn't eager to find out what James had up his sleeve.

Ugh, James was such a slime ball. Slippery and sly and always thinking. If it wasn't for that charisma of his, he could have made a decent Slytherin.

"Well, I suppose the conditions aren't..." she paused. "Unreasonable," she muttered.

"Next time do me the favor and just let me get stomped on by the stupid Hippogriff," she uttered, continuing to walk up the hill with a severe limp. She turned to grab James's arm to urge him to hurry up, but as she took another step her hand traveled down to his own, and Lauren withdrew it quickly and curled her fingers in disgust.

"And that didn't mean anything just now," she said quickly, covering up with her very brief blunder. She'd rather be abducted by Dementors than to admit that she grabbed James' hand on purpose.

-x-

Nothing was unreasonable for Lauren. James had put down his guidelines as well so it was an equal playing field. And really, they weren't that bad. "Thanks for remembering, _Lauren_," he said, smirking like no tomorrow.

"I'll briefly outline it for you. Just some people from different Houses, games, food, etc. It's a good time, let me tell you," he added, adjusting his grip on Lauren. Since they had been talking without moving for so long, his current posture hurt but he mustered the strength to grin through it. "They're very reasonable."

James laughed. She was always thinking the worst. "Yeah, next time I won't," James said, rolling his eyes. "I think this would be better than being dead, hm?"

Lauren continued to lead up the hill, but James was going too slow for her apparently. Then, the unthinkable: Lauren 'accidentally' grabbed his hand. A wide grin emerged on his face and she withdrew it almost immediately. "You liked it, Lauren. Don't deny it." She couldn't. He was James Potter, after all. All girls wanted him, but only Lauren suited his tastes. If she only knew...

-x-

Lauren was resisting the urge to argue with the fact that the little party would be fun, seeing as the majority of the people there would be Gryffindors. She had heard about these get-togethers between Houses and she and her friends usually declined the invitations because they all disliked the Gryffindors - especially those of the Potter/Weasley decent.

Right now she wished she had never said that sarcastic remark in front of Hagrid back in the Forest- then surely she wouldn't have been picked to greet the Hippogriff, and then none of this would ever have happened. She was now at James' mercy seeing as if she backed out now James would either chase after her more since he got her to say yes once, or he'd ridicule her for the rest of their Hogwarts days. Neither sounded like a good option.

Lauren turned to face James sharply at his last comment with a red face. "Listen, James, I don't like you. At all. In fact, I would rather sit in the middle of a corn field and have crow peck out my eyes and feed on my insides rather than being caught dead with you. I hate your guts and I always will," she snarled.

"You want me to prove it?" she asked. Suddenly she leant forward, kissing him and holding it for several seconds before pulling away. "There. I felt nothing," she said blandly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"So either you're desperate, or you're really that dumb because the last girl that kissed you walked off stumbling like she was drunk on Fire Whiskey or something," she snapped. "So get _ove_r yourself!"

-x-

Lauren was basically at his mercy now. Not that he had originally intended it, but it was just how things ended up. The rules had made him nervous, seeing as she had cut off any means of creating a romantic atmosphere. Sure, they were only thirteen, but love could strike at any age. Even if Lauren threatened to hit him with a stick, he'd continue to run and chase her, until an adamant yes could change everything. Even though he was strongly opposed to anything Slytherin, maybe the Hat had placed her wrongly... was that why he felt inclined to love her? Love at first sight? No matter the blood or House?

Oh, so Lauren turned red? That just proved one of her weaknesses: himself. How could she blatantly lie to his face like that? "Mhm," he murmured, listening to her ultimatum. "Yeah, prove it DiGiacomo. I'd like to see you -" James tried to reply, cut was cut off when Lauren pressed her lips to his. Wow - it was much more perfect than he could have imagined. Well, it would have helped if she wasn't mad at him.

"I'd choose dumb in that pairing, you know. I only have short flings with all the birds because they're madly in love with me. And I can't, lovey, because that's who I am." James had meanwhile left go of Lauren, so she had been hobbling up the path herself. Oh, stubborn Lauren!

**Moral/Extra details of the story: **Lauren and I made it safely to the Hospital Wing, where Madame Pomfrey tended to Lauren this time. The nurse was surprised to find that I was okay, and, to the disgust of Lauren, let me stay with her. Mending bones were apparently easy and it fascinated me how easy it was.

Anyway, to the moral of the story. Even if a traumatizing event like that occurs, it's wrong to take advantage of the situation. Though it sounds promising at first, it actually can blow up in your face. Case in point, the date with Lauren actually turned out a lot worse than I had expected. Thanks, Albus, Rose, and Lily. Hate you too. Again, we'll have to mention _that _in another chapter.

Let's say it was bad enough to make Lauren start calling me Potter again and the fact that I visited Madame Pomfrey that same day…


	4. Howlers

_**Author's Note:**_

Thanks again to Shinja, who gave me a couple ideas and what Lauren would shout at James. Enjoy! And, oh, there's lots of caps abuse coming. Ginny tends to be _very_ mad.

Loligo7687

* * *

Chapter 4: Howlers

Hopefully you all have seen a Howler before, either one meant for me or another. As rare as they are, they are those wonderful scarlet/red envelopes that yell when you open it. For mine, it's usually Ginny. Quite frankly, I doubt she lets Harry ever send one. At least she cares enough to announce my wrong-doings to the entire school. That's what mothers are for, I guess.

If you're ever unfortunate to receive one, open it right away. Ignoring it can prove disastrous. Trust me, I've done it before. Anything Ginny has to yell about seems tame. Running away doesn't work either. Just a tiny hint.

Also, don't ever act embarrassed about it. Casually sweep the pieces off the table and resume eating. It will actually lessen the embarrassment you feel. If you're lucky enough to receive it in the Common Room, your own room, or even the Owlery, good for you! Ginny opts for the Great Hall for me, hoping that public humiliation would humble me. It doesn't work. Knowing you suck-ups and goody-two-shoes, you haven't received one (cough Rose). Well, I might as well tell you three or situations I've encountered with Howlers. All were in the Great Hall of course. Then maybe you heard them then. I don't know.

Eating breakfast with my fellow Gryffindors one day in my seventh year, the morning mail was literally dropping in. Owls were flying down and giving packages to the students. Looking up for Alistair (my owl), I spotted his speckled coat with a scarlet/red envelope in his talons -- a Howler. Bracing myself for Ginny's yelling, I caught the envelope before it hit the table. Lily and Hugo were the first to comment on my 'gift'. Being Third Years did not give them that right.

"Another Howler, James?" said Lily, nudging Hugo in the ribs. Those two were two peas in a pod, let me tell you. As were Rose and Albus; I was alone in the respect of not having a Weasley to grow close to. I blame my parents for that one.

"Since we obviously know what it's about," added Hugo, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Don't worry, James, I've forgiven you," Lily said, grinning. "But I'm not so sure our parents have."

How on Merlin's green earth was I related to her? Aside from the red hair, we were actually more alike in more ways than one. We shared the same sharp brown eyes that our mother had, and we had a knack for mischievousness. Even though I had messed up big time with her, we were usually partners-in-crime. Being Gryffindors had its advantages, of course. Rose and Albus were the only non-Gryffindors, which wasn't such a bad thing. Sure, I had announced angrily why my brother was wrongly placed in Slytherin and when Rose had been Sorted into Ravenclaw, but that's another story. Here's to hoping that I don't get hurt from daring to retell that story later!

The scarlet letter mocked me from my hands and I heard another laugh from the right of me. My friend and fellow Gryffindor, Derek Ackart, was laughing from amusement.

"For what it's worth, mate, it _was_ worth it!" Derek said, laughing.

"You're not the one holding the Howler, Derek!" I snapped back, prying the seal open with my index finger. Again, I would rather not delay opening it. Animating as soon as I broke the seal, its 'facial features' did remind me of Ginny. All talk was hushed as Ginny's sharp, angry voice filled the hall.

"JAMES SIRIUS POTTER THE SECOND!" she roared, announcing my full name to the hall. As if they hadn't heard me say it a billion times before -- Lauren was always pointing out how annoying it was when I introduced/referred myself as my full name.

"Yes?" I replied dryly, learning I could actually interact with it within a certain extent.

"DON'T YOU DARE GIVE ME THAT LACKADAISICAL ATTITUDE, JAMES!" she replied, the 'eyes' narrowing sharply. "YOU DO NOT HEX LILY'S BOYFRIENDS JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE THEM, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S THAT SLUG EATING SPELL. YOU KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES! WHY DID I EVER LET YOUR GODPARENTS TELL YOU THAT STORY?"

After her current tirade, the Howler glanced warily at the MacMillan boy sitting at the Gryffindor table, but quickly returned to James for another scolding. When Lily tattled, she was precise and detailed about it.

"LILY CAN GO OUT WITH WHOMEVER SHE SO PLEASES WITHOUT YOU HAVING TO SEND THE POOR BOY TO THE HOSPITAL WING. I SWEAR, YOU ACT SO MUCH LIKE YOUR GODFATHER SOMETIMES. DON'T YOU EVER DO SOMETHING SO STUPID AGAIN! OR ELSE YOU'LL BE SUFFERING WITH MUCH MORE THAN A HOWLER AND THREE WEEKS OF DETENTION!"

"Oh," I said, shrugging. I wasn't so sure what she meant by me acting like my godfather, Ron, but maybe it had to do with protecting younger sisters from boys. Luckily, the Howler turned to Lily and Hugo.

"Hello, Lily and Hugo," she said, nicely. "Say hello to Rose and Albus for us all."

With that, the scarlet envelope shredded itself into pieces in front of them, causing Lily to wipe the remnants off the table. I swore that Ginny had mood swings. Must be from Grandma Weasley, I suppose. With a satisfied grin, she got up and approached her current boyfriend, MacMillan. Kissing him fully on the lips, she left laughing.

"Girls," I muttered, shaking my head.

"Can't live with them, can't live without them," Derek added, shrugging.

"Exactly," I replied. "I try my best to protect Lily, or do everything for Lauren, but what do I get?"

"Howlers?" Derek said, guessing.

"Yeah!" I said bitterly.

**Moral of the story: **Even if you think you're helping a girl out, you're really not. They like for you to not interfere with their life. Hexing their boyfriends or doing nothing will earn you a Howler. Don't even ask how that works. Actually, just ask Lily or Lauren. Or even Rose and Vega, they're girls too.

Again, trying to help out a girl can have serious consequences. This Howler didn't even come from my mother, never mind my own owl. A strange owl dropped a Howler into my hands during breakfast during my seventh year as well. However, it was disguised as a 'love' note with a lipstick print of somebody's lips over the seal. Bemused by such an envelope, I opened it without regard. Considering the fact that Lauren had broken up with me last night for no particular reason. I should have taken more caution.

According to her, our 'date' had turned out horrible enough to hate me forever. Which date she meant, I didn't know. The last week or so I had been _actually_ studying for the N.E.W.T. tests, which was grave if I wanted to pursue my long sought career. Barely seeing Lauren at all, I questioned her unreasonable anger.

"What date are you talking about? I was at the library all week practically!" I said, my eyebrows arching upward.

"Don't act like you don't know! You're the one who set up the date in the first place!" she snapped back.

"No, I already told you! I was in the library!"

"Then who went on the date with me?"

"I don't know… a ghost?"

"Unbelievable! We're definitely through, James Sirius Potter!"

With that, she stormed off into the opposite direction. "The second!" I called after her, which didn't help the situation.

Now here I was, looking at the scarlet envelope hidden beneath the white one. With the seal being broken, Lauren's voice emerged from it. Uh oh. Peering over toward the Slytherin tables, I saw a smirk form on her face as our eyes met.

"JAMES!" she yelled, causing me to look back at the floating envelope. "DEAREST JAMES, I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS TIME TO TELL YOU MY INNERMOST FEELINGS. THINGS THAT I'VE KEPT HIDDEN SINCE THE DAY WE MET… I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS A GIRL COULD EVER SAY TO A GUY… I. HATE. YOU. YOU ARE THE MOST ARROGANT, EGOTISTICAL TWIT I'VE EVER MET! I'VE SEEN TOADS WHOSE APPEARANCE IS MORE APPEALING THAN YOURS, AND YOU ARE DUMBER THAN A MOUNTAIN TROLL! I NEVER WANT TO DATE YOU EVER AGAIN, SEEING AS LAST TIME YOU PURPOSELY TOOK THE TIME TO MAKE ME SEEM STUPID. BUT, DESPITE THAT, I'D NEVER BE HALF AS STUPID AS YOU. SO DO ME A FAVOR AND GET TRAMPLED BY A HIPPORGRIFF YOU SLIMY GIT! LOVE, LAUREN."

"Tough luck, James," Derek commented, as the envelope tore apart.

"I don't even know what I did!" I replied, feeling hurt from her words. I didn't even know what I did, let alone her being vague about it.

"You did something, apparently. People don't hate you for any reason, you know."

"I was in the library the whole week! I don't even know what happened!"

"Calm down, mate. You'll figure it out. Maybe someone didn't approve of _your_ relationship."

I pondered his statement. Who would be brazen enough to do that, but somehow make Lauren think it was me? I didn't know that either…

**Moral of the story: **Girls are completely insane.

But that would have to wait until another time once again. I seem to veer from the original topic, don't I? Anyway, the last Howler was from Ginny again. Angry as ever, this one came during dinner from Featherby (Rose and Hugo's stupidly named owl). It was still from Ginny, but I wondered why. My parents were probably visiting my godparents at the time she had received the news of my latest punishment. This was last year, since I had been made Quidditch Captain of the Gryffindor team. Professor Longbottom bestowed me with the honors, and I was in charge of try-outs and choosing my team. Albus and Lily had made it onto teams, with Lily being on mine. Albus was a Slytherin Beater, for whatever reason.

During a Gryffindor versus Slytherin match, I had been annoying Albus since I hadn't spotted the Snitch in my line of vision. Hardly paying attention to anything but me, he tried shooing me away. Unfortunately, my warning of a Bludger coming our way went unnoticed. It hit into his outstretched arm with a sickening crunch, shattering all the bones instantly. He went to the Hospital Wing for a night while the bones mended, but Ginny caught wind of it. In the middle of my Pumpkin Pastry, it arrived.

"Shoo, Featherby!" I said, but the Howler still came. Hugo frowned at me, but he had gotten a regular letter from his mother at the same time. Lucky him.

"JAMES SIRIUS POTTER!" she yelled.

"The second," I pointed out.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I HAVE JUST HEARD FROM HEADMISTRESS MCGONAGALL! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING FAIR AND NOT DISTRACTING ALBUS DURING THE QUIDDITCH MATCH!"

"I'm sorry?"

"YOU BETTER BE SORRY! ALBUS BROKE HIS ARM DUE TO YOUR ANTICS, WHICH WON'T SOON BE FORGIVEN. YOUR FATHER AND I WILL BE HAVING A DISCUSSION WITH YOU DURING THE HOLIDAY BREAK, BELIEVE ME."

The letter turned to Hugo. "Your mother and father say hello, Hugo."

With that, the letter tore up. The consequences were probably going to be awful, since that threat was always upheld by Ginny. Harry always tried to lessen the punishment I would receive, but Ginny would give him a stern look or threat. We all know what that threat would be, right? I'd always try to sneak away at that point, out of horror and/or trying to save myself from more punishment.

Albus recovered alright, but he was still mad at me for a week after that. He couldn't stay mad at me for too long. After all, we were still brothers. We would always fight, but we'd always come to terms with each other.

**Moral of the story: **Even if you get a Howler, it will actually make you learn a little bit. I _think_ it's supposed to make you well-behaved, but _I_ think it tells you how to do something stupid differently. The sender will always let you know how they feel without constraint. Even if you distracted your brother or if you did nothing, you'll get notification. Three weeks or more of detention was divided between the Forbidden Forest and cleaning vials. McGonagall picked my detention carefully, only picking chores I hated doing. So, basically, if you ever get in trouble, expect detention and Ginny's Howler.

Unless you're Rose Weasley.


	5. Jealousy & Annoying Fangirls

Chapter 5: Jealousy/Annoying Fangirls

This is actually a reoccurring and ongoing problem in the Hogwarts community. Both jealousy and fangirls are in abundance, and I'm sure some of you have realized this. I, for one, have, since I can't seem to shake them. Basically, anyone who challenges my good looks or takes my fangirls (or any boyfriend of Lauren's actually) will have to answer to me. Even if that person is my brother, well, they don't call it sibling rivalry for nothing.

Up until my sixth year, I was the best looking Potter around. Every girl wanted me, excluding Lauren, but that's beside the point. I was charming, good looking, charming, did I mention good looking? Who could deny the humor I brought to a conversation? The rumor was true, I'm afraid: I _am_ the best kisser around. I probably shouldn't have told you that, since I'm supposed to be giving you all words of advice, but oh well. You ought to know just in case. So, basically, jealousy and annoying fangirls will happen. I just hope the guys don't start drooling over my sister or Rose.

**Moral of the story:** _Jealousy will happen_. How you deal with it will dictate everything to follow. Or I think that'll happen. So don't make wild assumptions out of jealousy, basically. It has some bad consequences.

That meant that Albus and Rose were fourteen, which was considered the dating age nowadays. Suddenly out of nowhere, flocks of fangirls were not wholly focused on me. They were passing right by me to go to Albus! Apparently, he was much more handsome than the previous years. Knowing that this was my brother they were talking about, I almost threw up. As much as I denied my jealousy, I knew I was jealous. After five to six years of supreme rule, I was not used to sharing that power.

"Ladies!" I announced loudly, walking up to the three girls huddled in a small circle. "I've been keeping you late, but now I have arrived. Being Gryffindor Quidditch captain does have its responsibilities."

Flashing them my charming smile, I expected them to fall over from the shine. Instead, they looked at me with amusement. The brunette in the group spoke up.

"We're not here for _you_, we're here for your brother," she said, laughing.

"Wait. My brother? Albus? Surely you don't mean him?" I asked, confused.

"Yes, your brother Albus. Where is he?" the brunette asked.

"I don't know, but --" I started to say, until the girls interrupted me.

"Albus Potter!" they shrieked, running past me and flocking to his side. Already with another group trailing behind him, he walked past me with a grin.

"See you later, James. Nice win today!" Albus said, laughing along with the fangirls at his side.

I watched him leave with my jaw hanging wide. Stealing my fangirls was not a way to stay on my good side, even though I was infatuated with Lauren. Since she was constantly rejecting me, fangirls were filling that void. With Albus stealing them, the void was opening up again. Needing some sort of attention, I decided to go steal them back. How I would do that, I didn't know.

In the meantime, Vega and I were hanging out in Hogsmeade one weekend. Vega and Albus were actually dating before my brother got so called 'handsome' by all the girls, and she was just as upset as I. Ordering two Butterbeers as we discussed a plan for action, I shrugged off my coat onto the seat next to me, which was empty. Sitting across from me was Vega, who looked angry. Much angrier than I had ever seen her before; she took a vicious swig of her Butterbeer.

"What a lousy, no good, bloody git he is!" she exclaimed, after her swig of Butterbeer.

"Language, Vega!" I teased, but I grew serious. "I'd have to agree though."

"Who does he think he is? I cannot believe that he would just lie to my face like that and tell me he was going off with his friends!"

"Fangirls?"

"Yes! Did he think I wouldn't find out? This is utterly stupid!"

We took a hearty sip of Butterbeer each, which seemed to calm our nerves for now. Albus must have messed up big time, and hopefully I could help him recover from this road. Vega never swore, so it had to be bad.

"So, what are we going to do? Public humiliation?" I asked, shrugging.

"I don't know. But I suppose I could just break-up with him, and see how he likes that," she replied, mirroring my shrug.

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

"And why should I take relationship advice from you?"

"Touché."

Finishing our Butterbeers, we headed out of The Three Broomsticks and back up the road from Hogsmeade. Unfortunately, my brother and his fangirls were coming down on the same path. He adjusted his glasses to make sure it was really us. Albus looked at a little frightened.

"Vega and James, funny to see you here," he said, looking a little guilty now.

"Albus! What are you doing?" Vega exclaimed, balling up her fists by her side. "Last time I checked, _we_ were going out!"

"We are, Vega, but--"

"But what? You needed time with your fangirls? Unbelievable!"

"No, it's just--"

"No excuses, Albus! I'd advise you to come find me when you're free," Vega spat, pushing back some of the girls who looked unfazed by the whole ordeal.

"Ouch. Albus, have I ever told you about this?" I said, shaking my head.

"No…" he said, his face crestfallen.

"Well, ditch your girls and chase after Vega!" I yelled, causing him to do just that.

Watching him leave my line of vision, I looked back to the girls who looked a little lost without my brother. "Ladies, please, Butterbeers await you at The Three Broomsticks. Follow me," I said, flashing the smile that never failed. It didn't fail that time.

**Moral of the story:** This is more for you, Albus. Fangirls aren't good for you. Not even for me. Though I tend to like them around, they stir up more trouble than prevent it. Shoo them away and stick to one woman, for sure. I've learned the hard way, and sometimes it isn't worth it. Especially when Lauren's around…

In the same year, after a Gryffindor versus Slytherin match, I was walking off the pitch when one of the many Gryffindor birds approached me. She was very pretty (but not as pretty as Lauren, of course) but a total ditz. Calling me over to the side of the pitch, I went over to see what she wanted.

"So, James, nice game today," she said, smiling.

"Which game?" I replied, seeing how Quidditch literate she was.

"Er, this one," she replied, shrugging.

"Quidditch, you mean?"

"Yeah, that's the one!"

"Mhm. Can I go now?"

"I'm Jenny, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, but I have to go talk to the Slytherin captain now."

"Why can't you stay?"

Trying to find my escape, considering that I was going to try again for a date with Lauren, I spotted her coming back onto the pitch.

"Lauren!" I shouted, trying to grab her attention. She didn't look at me at first, but she did eventually. What I did not expect was that Jenny grabbed the collar of my shirt and pressed her lips to mine. Pushing her away, I searched for Lauren. She had started walking in the opposite direction from which she originally came. Swearing, I began to run to catch up with Lauren.

As soon as she turned around to glare at me, she picked up the pace as well. Unfortunately for her, my strides were longer and I caught her before she could escape to the dungeons of Hogwarts.

"Lauren!" I said breathlessly, clamping on her wrist. "I don't know what happened!"

"Of course you do, you horrible little--" she tried to say, but I cut her off before she could insult me as usual.

"She came out of nowhere, I swear!"

"Oh, yeah, sure. I believe you. Your little games are making me literally sick, and I'm not going to be jealous after that little stunt!"

"I wasn't trying to make you jealous! Merlin! I just wanted to ask you out when she kissed me! It didn't even mean anything!"

"Why do I even bother to talk to you? You're so shallow, James, and you better get your priorities straightened out real quick."

She tugged on my arm to let go, but I held fast.

"Lauren, I promise that I didn't do it on purpose, okay?" I said, releasing her arm.

"When pigs fly… I still don't like you, for the record," Lauren replied, rubbing her wrist tenderly. "Once you take my earlier advice, we'll see."

Retreating into the dungeons, I watched as she disappeared. Pondering her last statement, I wasn't quite sure what she meant. Straightening out my priorities? Whatever that meant.

**Moral of the story: **Again, I reiterate, girls are completely insane. They'll break your heart, kiss you for no apparent reason, or try to wreck relationships. I swear, despite those cons, I'm infatuated with one. I'd do anything to capture her attention for more than ten seconds at a time, even if it means throwing me under the bus so to speak. But more or less, Lauren would want me to throw myself under a physical bus. It's a sick world, sometimes. At the end of the day, however, if you've found the right one, they seem a little less crazy than the other ones.


	6. Boggarts & Patronuses

**_Author's Note:_**

WARNING: Immaturity to follow. But, then again, has James ever been mature?

Also, some new OCs to follow. (:

Loligo7687

* * *

Chapter 6 – Boggarts/Patronuses

**Moral of the story: ** Never be ashamed of the form that your Boggart and Patronus takes. Despite how silly it may be, it represents you and only you. Your fears can only make you stronger, and defeating a Boggart instills confidence. Sometimes though, it doesn't make sense. In that case, I'll just laugh. Or if it's something totally stupid, like a beaver, I'll laugh too. Unless it's Lauren; she's ten times better than me at nonverbal spells.

And remember, use 'Riddikulus' to repel Boggarts and use 'Expecto Patronum' to cast your Patronus. Use of both will probably be rare, but it's nice to know anyway. Or just read on to recap the training session I gave you lot before my N.E.W.T.S. (certainly something I wouldn't ever forget):

Inviting my family (including my cousins and close friends) and one guest apiece, I was going to bestow my wisdom upon them. How else were they going to survive? Maybe it wasn't all that, but the fact that I was wanting to tease Albus about his dorky Patronus, whatever it was.

Borrowing a Boggart without permission, I placed it in a trunk (with difficulty) and dragged it to the Room of Requirement. Lily had accidentally found it one day and we've used it ever since. Teaching this was very important, you know. I didn't want McGonagall interrupting my session.

A short while later, Lauren and Derek arrived, and then were followed by Albus and Vega. Rose and Scorpius Malfoy (ugh, how revolting), Lily and Cassiopeia Zabini (see earlier note), and Hugo and Olivia Bones (not so bad) trickled in. Derek was the odd one out, but only because his 'girlfriend' didn't want to come. I knew definitely that Lily, Albus, and Hugo had brought their significant others, but Rose and Scorpius stumped me. Hopefully they weren't. Lauren and I were dating at this time, so she had kissed me before saying hello. Wowza!

"Listen up, you lot!" I shouted, calling for all of their attentions. "I will be teaching you how to produce a full corporeal Patronus charm and how to repel a Boggart."

"We've done that already, James," Lily complained. "And some of us are too young to produce a full Patronus!"

"Bloody hell woman! Are you a witch or not? You're the bloody daughter of the legendary Harry Potter! Of course you can!" I said, waving my arms around. "The rest of you can too! It just takes practice!"

Rose spoke up. "You can repel a Boggart by using 'Riddikulus', thus making it less frightening. A Boggart reveals your worst fear. For a Patronus charm to successfully form, you must think of the happiest thought and say 'Expecto Patronum'," she said, astutely.

"Alright, dictionary, who's teaching the lesson?" I snapped.

"You," she replied, with a small smirk.

"Right, so, let's begin, shall we?" I said, rolling my eyes. "I'll go first. Remember, use 'Riddikulus'!"

Flicking my wand toward the trunk with the Boggart in it, it didn't unlock as I had planned. Scratching my head with my wand, I wondered why my nonverbal spells sucked.

"Nice wand, James. I think it's broken, unless you really stink at this," Albus commented, which didn't deter me at all.

"At least mine's actual size," I retorted, and he got flustered naturally (especially in front of Vega). The dirty metaphor was always a running joke at Hogwarts.

"Have you an ounce of maturity?" Vega replied, on Albus' behalf.

"Last time I checked, no," I said, and finally the trunk opened on my cue. Out came the Boggart, but in the form I hated most of all: a snake.

Stepping back instinctively, I gathered my composure quickly. "Riddikulus!" I shouted, and the snake became one of those coiled spring things.

"Easy!" I said, triumphantly. "Go, Lauren."

With a smile and her wand, she approached the coil. Suddenly, it transformed into a cloud (and a rainy one at that). Accompanying it was thunder and lightning. This was relatively surprising, since I hadn't ever imagined her being afraid of a thunderstorm. Lily had been too when we were younger, since I had been awoken numerous times to a frightened-looking sister. Often, I stayed up with her until the storm passed or we both fell asleep. Comfort could go a long way.

Lauren's spell had turned it into the sun, though not necessarily funny. It still eased her fear. "Easy," she said, smirking back at me with her nose in the air. Wrapping my arms around her into a hug, I placed a kiss to temple.

"You're right, of course," I whispered in her ear, and then I realized everyone was looking at us. "Someone else go? Albus, then Vega, then Derek go!"

Albus gave me a dirty look before he approached the sun. From the air it dropped to the floor, transforming into a small rodent. A mouse sniffed the air from its hind paws, and my brother flinched badly. The girls didn't like it either, so I was seriously contemplating whether or not Albus was man enough. I guess he was, since he took care of the mouse almost immediately. It turned into a toy with the spell, and he adjusted the glasses on his nose casually. Ignoring my laughter, he grinned at Vega as she approached the Boggart.

The toy took to the air this time, but it landed swiftly onto the trunk. Large owl eyes stuck daggers into her, and I suddenly realized why she had a cat instead an owl. Or why Albus had to send letters for her. It looked most like Alistair, since Albus and I had to share an owl for most of our years at Hogwarts. She shrieked and cowered behind Albus, to which I rolled my eyes.

"Conquer your fear, Vega!" I said, motioning toward the owl. She shook her head.

"If Albus can take care of a stupid mouse, then you can take care of the owl!"

Reluctantly, she approached the owl again. With her wand raised, she directed the spell at it. It suddenly started to fly away, and she aimed the spell again, which missed the owl and nearly hit me. "Watch it!" I yelled. Vega finally caught the owl, and it 'exploded' into a pile of feathers. Satisfied, she returned to Albus' side and watched Derek step up.

Feathers turned into fur, and a four-legged creature stood where the feathers had been. A wolf howled unceremoniously at Derek, and he raised his wand at it. Lunging at him, it turned into a harmless little dog in front of him. Wagging its tail, it sought out Hugo. Hugo jumped away from it, but it didn't change for him.

"Hugo, are you afraid of dogs?" I asked.

"Let's point out the obvious!" Rose interrupted.

"Isn't your dad's Patronus a dog?"

"So? Your dad's is a stag. How is that similar to a snake or a mouse?"

"Snakes eat mice and stags for breakfast."

"Okay…"

Hugo had finally summed up the courage to repel the dog with 'Riddikulus' charm, but it was now Olivia's turn to go. Since I had little knowledge of what she was like, it was probably going to be something totally harmless. Indeed it was: a spider. Now, this wasn't any ordinary spider. It was a huge spider with the eyes and pincers going on. It was more repulsive than scary.

"An Acromantula," Rose said.

"I read _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ recently," Olivia replied, shuddering.

"My dad doesn't like them either," Hugo reassured her.

"Riddikulus!" she shouted, but nothing happened.

"Riddikulus," Rose said, correctly.

"Riddikulus," Olivia repeated, and the legs disappeared. Now that was hilarious!

The next four were totally unconventional. They weren't animals, but wizards. All of us just watched with awe as McGonagall appeared in front of Lily. The Boggart didn't say anything at first, but Lily was actually trembling. She hardly ever showed her fear, so it must have been bad.

"Lily Potter, you're in some trouble! I'm contacting your parents right away!" the Boggart of McGonagall declared, and I saw a tear roll down the side of her face. I thought she was going to run away, but she simply pushed back her hair and raised her wand.

"Riddikulus!" she said firmly, and blasted the Headmistress backward.

"I wish I could hex McGonagall like that in real life," I commented, and Lily laughed a little. Cassiopeia took over the rest of the comforting, which made me a little angry. I wasn't used to Lily having a boyfriend, or a good one at that. While that occurred, the Boggart had landed in front of Rose and Scorpius. Rose stepped forward with her wand clutched tightly in her hand.

McGonagall had morphed into Ron, her father and my godfather. He glanced warily at Scorpius for a moment before narrowing his eyes at his daughter. "So that's little Scorpius. Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank God you inherited your mother's brains."

Rose blushed, remembering the moment very vividly. Scorpius didn't react, out of fear that this was truly her father.

"Granddad Weasley will never forgive you if you marry a Pureblood," added Boggart-Ron, between a joking and serious tone. Rose was now as red as a tomato. With a defiant flick of her wand, Rose hit the Boggart in the chest. If there was something I was jealous of, it was her great accuracy. Much like her father, I did not approve of Scorpius. Something about the Malfoy legacy deterred me from giving him a chance. However wrong it was of me to assume that he was much like his father, it would only stay that way. I knew what was best for my family. Or so I thought.

As the Boggart staggered back, Scorpius stepped forward for his turn. It was so predictable in a way that I didn't expect it to be. Draco, his father, had taken Ron's spot. I laughed and Rose shot me a dirty look. That made me only laugh harder.

"Make us proud, Scorpius. Beat Rose if you can," he said, in that same serious/joking tone. "Be wary of those Weasleys --"

Draco was cut off by Scorpius' spell, which was dead accurate as well. That sounded more like the first time Rose and Scorpius had been going to school, which had been secret from each other until now. They weren't upset at each other, for Rose grabbed his hand and squeezed it. I was about to throw up myself. Lauren nudged me to stop fake gagging.

Everyone had gone except for Cassiopeia, who had left Lily's side to seek out the Boggart. Weirdly enough, I was now staring at my father. _The_ Harry Potter was standing in front of Cassiopeia, and Lily gasped loudly. I did laugh, since I thought it was funny that someone was afraid of my father. Well, I think he just wanted to make a good impression since he was dating Lily. I suppose it would be intimidating if you were dating the daughter of the Boy-Who-Lived.

"Sorry about this," he said, pointing his wand at Boggart-Harry. "Riddikulus!"

The Boggart fell backward into the open trunk and I rushed over to close and lock it. The lesson went well, as everyone had gone through and successfully repelled their Boggart. The next part was going to be more difficult, but I knew everyone had the capability to produce one. Then I could say that I taught them that, which would boost my ever-inflating ego.

"Brilliant, everyone!" I said, grinning. "Now, we'll move ahead to producing a Patronus charm. As Rose said before, you must think of the happiest moment of your life. Otherwise, it won't work or you'll just see smoke instead of your Patronus. I will work individually with you if you cannot get it."

A murmur of agreements came from my audience, and so I began to go around the room. I stopped by Lauren and Derek first, hoping that being Seventh Years that they could do the charm easily. Lauren and Derek both assured me that they could, so Lauren volunteered to go first.

"Expecto Patronum!" she shouted, and a cat erupted from the tip of her wand. It stalked around the three of us, chasing an invisible mouse. She looked pleased enough, and it did represent her in a way. Being cunning and graceful did describe her, and she did like to stalk me secretly. Maybe. It disappeared as Derek cast his.

"What did you think of?" I asked.

"When I threw you into the lake that time," she said, and I frowned.

"Is that why you scratched me the other day?" I quipped at Lauren, and she rolled her eyes.

"If you ever say that again, I'll do more than scratch you next time," she replied, causing me to jump back instinctively. Thankfully I was distracted by Derek's Patronus.

A horse galloped around the room, which could probably describe his carefree nature. Other than that, I didn't know why it would be that.

"Not bad," he shrugged. "What's yours?"

"We'll see. Expecto Patronum!" I shouted, and the animal jumped from the tip of my wand. A snowshoe hare bounded across the room, seemingly looking for a place to hide.

"Nice, James," Derek commented. "Surely a Gryffindor trait!"

"Shut up, Derek," I mumbled, watching it bound around the room some more.

"My Patronus eats your Patronus for breakfast," Lauren commented, grinning.

"You know what, I have to go teach everyone else," I grumbled, stalking past the both of them. They laughed together, which was a rare bonding moment for them. They were hardly getting along as it was.

Albus and Vega were talking with Rose and Scorpius, so I decided to approach them first. The younger ones I could teach afterward, since my patience was thinning as it was. "So, you know how to produce a Patronus?" I asked.

"We do, but we haven't actually produced one," Rose replied, for all of them.

"Alright, just think of the happiest thought you can, and say the charm. Go on," I said, but Albus and Vega had trouble thinking of one. Rose and Scorpius, on the other hand, were all set. Letting the other pair off the hook for now, I motioned for the odd couple to go.

Rose and Scorpius looked at each other briefly, and shouted the charm at the exact same time. Two dolphins erupted from their wands and swam together over imaginary waves, clicking all the while. Dolphins were intelligent creatures, but why did they have the exact same Patronus?

Albus spoke up. "Dolphins are the only other creatures to have sex for pleasure."

Rose and Scorpius flushed immediately, but I grimaced instantly. Why did he know that piece of information? This was way too weird!

"What the hell Albus? That's gross!" I replied.

"It's true!" he shot back. "You say stuff like that all the time!"

"Dolphins are intelligent, you prat!" Rose said, still flushed red.

Albus adjusted his glasses. "I know! Remember the guide told us when we went to that American place? SeaWorld?" he replied.

"Oh yeah," I said, nodding. "Rose must have been paying close attention then."

"James!" she shouted, punching me hard in the shoulder.

"Hey!" I said, rubbing the spot where she had just punched me. "What are you doing, dating him or something?"

"Newsflash, yeah," Rose replied, angrily.

"Since when?" I asked, horrified.

"This year!"

"Go to separate corners, now!"

"You're so… stupid James!"

I stuck out my tongue at her. "Sticks and stones, love."

"Alright, it's over now," Scorpius said, holding back Rose. "Just ignore them."

I was about to reply to that, but Vega's voice distracted me. "Are you going to show me or not?" she asked irately.

"Happy thoughts!" I said, grumpily.

"Expecto Patronum!" she said, and obviously she produced it on the first try. A fawn bounded across the room, much like my own Patronus. It wobbled a little bit, but it was young obviously. Innocence was clearly demonstrated there.

"We should have brought her to SeaWorld, huh?" I commented, and she hit me in the same spot as Rose. Albus laughed at me, since I had gotten two girls angry at me within a period of five minutes.

Albus then tried producing his Patronus, but it was only smoke at first. I laughed, obviously.

"Happier thoughts!" I said.

"How many times did it take you?" he said, frowning.

"Like, seven. But that's not relative. Go on!" I replied.

His second time was the charm. A fox appeared; which could also eat my Patronus for breakfast. Again, Albus was cunning and intelligent, so that's why he was in Slytherin and had a fox. His eyesight disagreed with that, but oh well. He was the only one with glasses in the family aside from our father.

"Brilliant. Keep practicing, since I have to go teach the others," I said, and I left promptly before I could hear another useless fact.

The other four, Lily, Cassiopeia, Hugo, and Olivia were also chatting among themselves before I arrived to their group. All talk desisted as I cleared my throat. "I know you're young, but I know that you can pull it off. Let's see, Lily, why don't you try first? 'Expecto Patronum' right?" I said, pointing to my sister.

Bravely, she tried the charm. Smoke appeared at first, much like Albus' first try. It took another six tries or so to get a semi-corporeal Patronus, but I was still going to have her produce a full one. "Think happier!" I said, and she thought a moment before trying again. A raven flew from her wand, which scared Vega (it was hilarious, trust me) and soared around the ceiling. Lily, looking pleased, beamed at me.

"What did you think of?" I asked.

"The day you leave Hogwarts for good," she replied, her face serious. I opened my mouth to speak, but I hadn't any words to say.

"I was just kidding, James," she said, frowning. "If you really want to know, come over here."

Telling the other three to practice while I talked to Lily, her face was again serious. "Truthfully, I thought of the day I first met Cass. Yes, I know you hate all of my boyfriends. I do too. But Cass is different. I really like him, James. So what, he's a Slytherin. Lauren is too. You just have to give him a chance, like Scorpius. As much as you think you know what's best for us, we're not so wrong ourselves sometimes."

How was I supposed to respond to that?

"I know I'm an idiot sometimes, or most of the time, but you know how protective I am of all of you. It's a way of saying that I care. In some strange way," I said, nodding for effect.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, James," Lily replied, smiling. Clapping my back, she returned to her group and watched the others try their best. All of us (to my surprise) stayed the entire afternoon until the other three produced their Patronuses. Cassiopeia's Patronus was a pigeon, which was also a parallel to Lily's own. Strangely enough, I didn't even mention anything about it. Hugo's was a bear, which was funny, and Olivia's was an elephant. According to Hugo, she never forgets anything. Good and bad, mind you. I thank Merlin that Lauren has an awful memory. Or so I think.

** Moral of the story:** DiGiacomo/Potter/Weasley/Malfoy/Zabini/Bones family reunions will be rather interesting. Well, I don't know about you, but if they care so much about the person they're with, then it seems like a perfect match. I'm no Seer, but things will fall into place. Since this has no relation to Boggarts or Patronuses, I'm moving on.

Even Third Years can produce corporeal Patronuses! It isn't impossible since they were taught by me. They do signify what you're like, even if that interpretation is up in the air. Especially if it has to do with SeaWorld…

And Boggarts are simply hilarious… but not if it's yours.


	7. Halloween

**_Author's Note:_**

Finally an update! Woo! Just in time for Halloween - er, day after.

This chapter is filled with references from _Peanuts_, _DH_ epilogue, and also filled with pranking, kissing, and plain JSPII silliness. Ye be warned!

Happy (late) Halloween!

Loligo7687

_**Author's Note**_ **(5/16/11):**

I decided to redo some of the chapter and lessen the impact of the Muggle world, as well as introduce Roxanne because I had wanted to include her in the guide at Chapter 18. I won't describe her fully here, rather later when I start uploading again. Her love of pranks will be very important here and later! Hope the revision is a lot better than the original.

~Lucy

* * *

Chapter 7 – Halloween

Halloween is definitely one of the greatest holidays ever created. Think about it: you get free candy when you go trick-or-treating (well, not so much anymore), you can dress up in scary costumes, and you get to prank people! How isn't that great?

**Moral of the story:** Why is Halloween so great? To reiterate:

1. Pranks  
2. Candy  
3. Pranks  
4. Costumes  
5. Pranks  
6. Halloween Ball  
7. Pranks  
8. Candy  
9. Pranks  
10. Pumpkin Pastries

I would have ranked Pumpkin Pastries higher on the list, but the one year Derek and I had a candy hangover has since scarred me for life. I'll never look at one the same again.

This event, of course, took place during our first year at Hogwarts. This had also been the first year we hadn't gone trick-or-treating (my godparents liked to take us out around the Muggles) since we were in school. So, to make up for the lack of free candy, we stuffed our bags with all the candy and Pumpkin Pastries we could fit.

That night, we ate every piece of candy back in our dormitory. When I mean we ate all the candy, I meant we ate it all in one sitting. Come to find out, that's actually really bad for you. The next morning, Derek and I awoke with a nauseous feeling in our stomachs.

I barely made it to the bathroom. Anyway…

**Moral of the story: **If you eat a lot of candy, you're going to get a candy hangover. No lie. I warn you now. It's a very unpleasant feeling. Like… nausea… yeah…

Well, not as bad as a real hangover (wink wink nudge nudge). I can picture Rose just about fainting right now. So…

Basically, just enjoy treat-or-treating while you still can. It creates a lot of memories, yes. Like the ones where Ron and Hermione constantly fight over who is going to drive or what Rose and Hugo are dressing up as.

We usually dressed up as unoriginal things, like vampires and old wizards, and cats for Lily. Rose and Hugo had to go through a costume check by Ron, since he didn't approve of Hermione's choices.

"I'm Little Red Riding Hood, dad!" Rose said loudly, voicing her disproval over the fact that her father didn't like the costume.

"What's that, an illness?" Ron said, his face contorting.

"Stop saying that!" Hermione returned sourly, turning defensive. "It's an adorable costume!"

"Yeah, sure," Ron muttered, shifting his eyes toward Hugo. By this time, we Potters were growing impatient from waiting.

"I'm a ghost!" exclaimed Hugo, flapping his arms wildly. Holes were cut in a sheet for his eyes.

"Mhm, I approve," Ron said, and Hermione slapped him on the arm.

Half an hour later, we were at our first house for candy. As the usual Muggle custom, we shouted trick-or-treat at the house owner and received treats.

"I got chocolate!" I exclaimed happily, looking down into my bag. "What did you all get?"

"Chocolate," chimed Albus and Rose.

"Spice drops," replied Lily.

"A rock," said Hugo, and we continued to the next house.

"Chocolate! Spice drops! A rock."

After the next twenty houses, Hugo's bag was dragging on the ground.

"Chocolate! Spice drops! A rock."

That was all for our eventful evenings, and I'll admit, I miss them. We got better candy from the Muggles, and they certainly didn't give us candy hangovers. Nevertheless, one must be vigilant about watching your candy. Parents and friends are always lurking about, trying to nab your candy. It's true.

**Moral of the story:** TRICK-OR-TREAT WHILE YOU STILL CAN. Muggle holidays are fun. I'm glad Hermione brought us out around the neighborhood all those years. I might deny it now.

This story demonstrates what kind of friends I have during my last year:

"What are you and Lauren being for Halloween?" Derek asked, as we climbed the stairs toward the Gryffindor dormitories.

"I dunno. She wants to be something stupid. You?" I replied.

"Wait, I thought you two were going as yourselves?" he countered, and I promptly aimed a swift kick at him.

"Hilarious, Derek," I smirked.

"Well, if you must know, I was planning on being a wizard."

"You're such a nerd."

"You're a nerd, stupid."

At that moment, Lauren greeted us on the stairs. "Deciding costumes, are we?" she said slyly.

"Yeah, James says you should go as yourself," Derek replied, avoiding my glare.

Lauren's face didn't waver. "Well, I see he has his costume on already," she retorted.

Derek laughed. I swore that they liked to gang up on me.

"Sorry, honey, but this is the real deal," I returned smoothly, and Lauren smiled mischievously.

"Oh, what's that?" she said suddenly, pointing at my chest.

"What?" I said, and looked down to see. Lauren flung her finger upward and hit my nose.

"Never mind," she giggled, and proceeded down the staircase.

"She got you good, man."

"Shut it, Derek!"

**Moral of the story: **Friends/girlfriends can get super annoying, especially around Halloween. That's why you have to fight fire with fire. This is when pranks come in handy.

Pranks happen to the best of us, I'm afraid. Even me, James Sirius Potter II.

Luckily, I have a pranking partner-in-crime my age. Roxanne Weasley. She and I get along great and we share a passion for pranks and jokes, due to her father's joke shop in Diagon Alley. We could spend all day in there. But often she hangs out with the other Gryffindors in our year, appearing on when a pranking-extravaganza is necessary, or a very important party is being held.

Roxanne and I decided to go big this year, as it was our last year here. We're the ones behind the Great Hall Fiasco, the one that injured fifteen students and got us in a fair amount of trouble with McGonagall. That one was the day after the dance, as there was no way we'd risk missing that event. In a later chapter I _may_ go into the details...

The first prank of the Halloween season was on Vega. Poor, sweet innocent Vega… she was the easiest to target. Since Albus and she were dating, it was guaranteed that she was going to become a victim during this day. I went straight to work coming up with a brilliant plan. If I told Albus, it would have ruined the entire thing.

At breakfast, she was reading her book for whatever class she had first. Albus had skipped breakfast to avoid me, knowing that he'd be a likely victim. Taking the opportunity presented to me, I invited the Ravenclaw over to the Gryffindor table.

"Vega, what's that?" I asked, as she looked up confused.

"What are you talking about?" she replied, and I pointed to her book. Vega looked down and screamed.

A spider crawled across the pages of her book, and I was pretty sure it was a tarantula. Whatever species it was, it still scared the crap out of her.

"James!" she shrieked, lifting her book off the table. The spider went flying, but I caught him before he hit the ground. Vega had reddened cheeks and I had gotten her good. Unfortunately, her screams attracted the old bat.

"You look very festive today," I greeted McGonagall, even though she was in her regular apparel.

"Where did you get that?" she asked sternly, ignoring my previous comment. She meant the spider, of course.

"During my last detention with Hagrid in the Forbidden Forest… I named him Aragog Jr.," I replied, grinning.

"Put the spider back at your earliest convenience," she said, her frown growing ever prominent.

"Okay," I said, not moving.

"Now!"

I ran, fearing the wrath of McGonagall.

The second prank was on Albus. He's just as easy to scare, even though he's in Slytherin. That's the way it works, I guess. Anyway, I caught up to my younger brother on the way after his Quidditch practice.

"Hey, Albus," I said coolly.

"Yes, James?" he replied irritably, holding his broom over his shoulder.

"Vega wanted me to give you this pie," I said, revealing said pie filled to the brim with whipped cream.

"Oh?" Albus said skeptically.

"It's fresh too. Take a whiff," I returned, offering the pie out.

As soon as Albus leaned forward, I shoved the pie upward. The tin fell to the floor with a clatter, and pranking without magic was pretty much an insult. I could see the red through the whipped cream.

That was my cue to run. Otherwise, I was destined to feel the wrath of both Albus and Vega. Even though I could take them both, I didn't feel like showing up late to the Halloween Ball later that night.

The third prank was on me. Lauren helped scheme with Albus and Vega (see, they took my advice on revenge!) to get me back. Boy, did they.

When I was returning to my room, to get ready for the Ball, I felt something cool brush my shoulder. Looking down, I saw a snake sticking its tongue out at me.

"Oh my Merlin!" I yelped, knowing that I was in big trouble. Snakes were my biggest fear.

I suddenly heard laughter, and I was confused. Seconds later, the snake vanished in a puff of smoke and Lauren stood in its place. Well, I knew she was awful at Transfiguration.

"Lauren!" I exclaimed, somewhat irritably.

"Happy Halloween, James," she purred, placing her hand on my cheek. "Albus and Vega give you their best."

I frowned. Lauren laughed more. "Oh, and don't forget your costume!"

**Moral of the story:** What you do comes back to bite you ten times harder, literally. And it's best to agree with Lauren, since she knows non-verbal spells much better than I.

Even so, playing pranks is great. And totally worth it.

With the last bit of Halloween fun, there's a new tradition of a Ball on Halloween night. It's fun and you also make a lot of memories.

**Moral of the story: **If you don't have a date, then find one. No date equals loser status. Sorry. Even Derek found Sophie to go with.

I met Lauren at the entrance of the Great Hall. The importance of this dance was that Lauren had finally given into my requests to date her. She agreed to go to the dance with me, as a couple. Official business.

"Ready?" I said slyly, offering out my arm. She grinned.

"If you are," she replied, taking my arm.

Thankfully McGonagall was lax on the costumes, provided that they were appropriate. If we were only allowed to dress up as witches, ghosts, and goblins, then that would have been just plain stupid. An array of costumes swept by us; caught by the current dance tune.

We saw Albus and Vega, Rose and Scorpius, Lily and Cassiopeia, Hugo and Olivia, and Derek and his date (Merlin knows). They tended to stay away from us, as we did to them.

After dancing to a bunch of fast-paced songs, Lauren and I decided to sit and cool down. I brought us some punch and Pumpkin Pastries back from the refreshments table.

"Thanks, James," she said, taking a sip of punch. "Who knew you could be so gentlemen-like?"

I fought the urge to respond to her rhetorical question.

"So, enjoying your evening?"

"So far."

She took another sip of punch. "Know what would make it better?"

I sighed. "No?"

Lauren frowned. I shrugged.

"This," she said simply, taking her Pumpkin Pastry and smashing it against my face. I apparently told her the wrong answer. Who knew?

Wiping some of it off my face, a sudden grin emerged. I saw her eyebrows arch upward. Without a word, I pulled Lauren close and pressed my pumpkin-covered lips against hers.

Satisfied, I pulled away. Lauren looked impressed.

"Delicious," she commented lightly, and we then heard a groan.

Lily and Cassiopeia were looking at us. "Get a room!" she exclaimed, with a look of disgust.

**Moral of the story:** Everything works out in the end… most of the time. Basically:

1. Expect to be pranked at some time during Halloween  
2. Expect to get a candy hangover  
3. Expect to get rocks sometimes  
4. Expect to be annoyed by pesky sisters  
5. Expect to have fun

Happy Halloween!


	8. Sorting

**_Author's Note:_**

Eep! It's been almost two months since I last updated! I hope to get out an additional chapter before Christmas, as well as a Christmas themed JSPII guide chapter. 'Cause I've got lots and lots of chapters planned, but I have to write 'em first! So, be on the lookout for that later this week.

I also have my last YOTAC chapter done, the fourth and fifth chapter of my IC story to write, and a planned R/HR story for Christmas! Woo! :3

So stayed tuned and hope you enjoy this chapter!

Loligo7687

P.S. Shinja helped collaborate with me on this chapter, giving me the foundation of the third story with Albus and Vega. Thank you to her again! (:

P.P.S. If you received this twice, sorry. I didn't get an alert so I'm reposting it.

* * *

Chapter 8 - Sorting

This perhaps is the single most important thing at Hogwarts, if you're attending that is. Else, you won't have a place to sleep or be judged by! Of course I'm talking about the Sorting Ceremony! Without it, Hogwarts would be one chaotic place.

Well, I know you are all acquainted with the ceremony now. However, just so you don't make the same mistakes I did when it came down to it. Or let your future kids do the same thing when you're older. This guide is supposed to guide you, no?

The first story has to do with _my_ Sorting. Sorry, but I'm more important, loves.

Madame Pomfrey had been patching me up since the incident on the train with Lauren. The Sorting Ceremony had already commenced by the time my injuries had been tended to, and I had to run to the Great Hall… wherever that was.

"Thanks, Pomfrey," I said, dashing out of the Hospital Wing. A sharp right and a moment later, I realized that I had come from the opposite direction. My hands supported my weight when I slipped from the reversed momentum, and then I had to sprint on toward the Great Hall.

I eventually came to the Hall, and strolled in casually as one of my peers went to his House. My House was practically predetermined, but I was determined to change it. After all, Harry told me that the Sorting Hat takes into consideration your preferable choice. So, why not?

"Potter, James," McGonagall announced, looking above her glasses to see me.

"Present," I said, and the students turned to stare at me. "By the way, Minny, I'm James _Sirius_ Potter _the second_."

Remember, don't call her that. Especially in a large group of people. Sheesh. Anyway…

As I sat on the stool, my eyes immediately searched for Lauren. They found her at the Slytherin table, no less. How precious. She found my eyes, making eye contact for sure, and mouthed the words 'I will kill you if you get Sorted here'.

What did I do? The complete opposite.

"Slytherin, please," I said, as McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat upon my head. "Slytherin please!"

The Sorting Hat laughed at me. "Slytherin, eh?" it said, pausing. "The first of the Potters, very interesting…"

"Slytherin?" I suggested, once again.

"No, no, no!" it said, angrily. "You talents belong elsewhere, Potter."

"Where is that?" I asked.

"You belong in GRYFFINDOR!" it shouted, and the Gryffindor table erupted into cheers.

I sulked to the table, especially after seeing Lauren's triumphant smirk. Placing myself randomly at the table, I frowned at the table. Until someone spoke to me, that is…

"What's wrong with you?" a boy asked, presumably a new student as well.

"I didn't want to be a Gryffindor, that's all," I mumbled.

"You're a Potter, aren't you?"

"Yeah?"

"Of course you'll be in Gryffindor, idiot."

"Who the hell are you again?"

The boy stuck out his hand. "I'm Derek Ackart," he said, as I shook it back.

"Nice to meet you I guess."

"Don't expect me to call you by your full name every time I address you."

**Moral of the story: **The Sorting Hat _does not_ take into any consideration any suggestions you may have. Wait, no, I lied. It does not take into any consideration any suggestions I have. But no ill feelings… the Sorting Hat and I have become good friends since, well, only because I end up in McGonagall's office every week. Or more.

However, when it came time for Albus and Rose to be Sorted, I was not prepared at all. Since, you know, I figured I would see them more often. Not the case at all.

Derek and I were chatting through the entire ceremony until my brother was called. I thought Gryffindor for sure, especially with that nervous smile across his face. The hat debated with him for a couple seconds, and then made its decision.

"SLYTHERIN!" it announced loudly, causing the table to erupt in cheering (like usual). Lauren threw me another smirk.

I stood up. "That's complete crap, Sorting Hat! You Sort my _brother_ into Slytherin, but not me?" I shouted, causing people to stare at me once again.

McGonagall frowned. "Sit down and quiet, Mr. Potter!" she yelled back.

I did so, more so that I could see Rose be Sorted. Also, Scorpius had been Sorted into Slytherin (no surprise) and I wanted to make sure Rose wasn't going there as well.

"Weasley, Rose," said McGonagall, and Rose practically floated there. There was another painful silence before the hat's conclusion.

"RAVENCLAW!" it yelled, and Rose floated over to her table. Literally.

"Excuse me, Sorting Hat," I yelled, louder than the first time. "That's a Weasley for Merlin's sake! I say you've lost your credibility, you hunk of talking cloth!"

McGonagall yelled even louder than I did, surprisingly. "In my office, now!"

I instantly sulked, ignoring Rose's glare. Two outbursts meant an automatic doubling of my punishment. Potion vial cleaning and the Forbidden Forest? Probably.

**Moral of the story: **Making your opinion known is always a sure way to punishment, and always going to be shot down by McGonagall. Also, don't insult the Sorting Hat. Just… don't.

After getting over the fact that my brother, Albus, was dating Vega, I came to terms with it. I was still puzzled as to why Vega would date a Slytherin (Ravenclaws and Slytherins usually didn't mix), but to each her own.

I'm sure they don't appreciate me putting this in here, but it's way too damn funny to not to. For me, anyway. This was because I knew Albus' other side, the not so nice side. Vega, however, didn't. It happened this year, and I thought Vega was smart enough to figure out why he was a Slytherin (it has relevance to Sorting, you better believe it!).

According to Vega, after they had been dating over a year, she was still convinced that her 'charming' Albus was completely sweet and adorable. She still didn't know why he was in Slytherin (it's getting repetitive, isn't it?). But why should I spoil her image of my brother, while Albus could do that himself?

"I think he has psychological problems," I suggested, and Vega threatened to reveal my Firewhiskey stash.

"Sorry! Merlin!" I shouted, watching as she stalked away. It was then she discovered his not-so-sweet side.

In the courtyard, Vega discovered a group of Slytherin guys picking on a little Ravenclaw (whom she recognized). On closer inspection, however, she spotted a certain Albus Potter among them.

Even more to her dismay, her red-faced Albus took a vicious swing at the boy, sending him sprawling to the ground (this, after his friends had taken turns using a variety of spell and physical combos). Vega hardly ever got mad, and when she did, it wasn't pretty.

Since according to her, she made a beeline for the poor Ravenclaw. Placing her books down neatly, she ignored Albus for the time being until she tended to her fellow Ravenclaw. Vega helped the boy stand before turning on Albus sharply. The other Slytherins backed off, apparently.

"You had to go and ruin it, didn't you?" Vega said, angrily.

"What?" Albus replied defensively, still red-faced.

Vega, without hesitation, slapped him across the face. Albus staggered backward, surprised from the power she put behind it.

"I thought you'd break the Slytherin mold, but apparently I was wrong," she replied, blinking away angry tears.

"Vega, love," Albus started to say, but she wouldn't look at him. She raised her hand for a second swing, causing Albus to wince, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Without a word, she scooped up her books in one swift motion and walked away with the boy.

I'd rather not comment on this story, since I'm probably dead already. But I'll comment anyway, since that's just who I am. Vega must not have cared too much, because they came off break to date a month later.

**Moral of the story: **Despite my declaration of the Sorting Hat's crap credibility, I actually think it's a dead on accurate Sorter. It's not a bad thing, because we all have an ugly side. With Lauren, that's all the time.

However, Lily and Hugo got Sorted into Gryffindor. Zabini and Bones got Sorted into Slytherin and Hufflepuff, respectively. No surprise.

Oh, yeah, the Sorting Hat doesn't like to be insulted. Really.


	9. Detention

_**Author's Note:**_

It's been a long time! I decided to push back the Christmas/Yule Ball chapter, so that should be near completed.

Enjoy! (:

Loligo7687

_

* * *

_

Chapter 9 - Detention

_September 6, 2021_

This is the first Monday of the school year. And probably many more to come, I suspect. McGonagall has already gotten me stuck in this horrible classroom for at least a month. For something I didn't do, imagine! Well, okay. I _did_ do it, but he deserved it.

Let me say that writing this is my idea. Since I won't be able to do anything for three hours (not even talking!), I figured I could write down my feelings, and it'd be like I was talking... sort of...

McGonagall approved it, since she's watching over the detention crowd today. My reputation has grown so much that the other teachers won't dare watch detention when I'm there. It's interesting, I'll admit. Just as long as I don't talk aloud, then everything's cool.

So _why_ am I here? Well, in plain terms, I hexed the oblivion out of Lily's current boyfriend. Not even a week into the school year and I'm already in trouble! He was snogging her and -- oh Merlin, I can't even say it -- getting touchy feel-y on my sister! The horror! Naturally, I wasn't going to stand for a boy taking advantage of my sister, so I just hit him with a few spells.

He's at the Hospital Wing.

Lily got mad at me (even though I saved her!), which caused an avalanche of people hating me. Albus and Vega ganged up on me with Rose, and I got a Howler from Ginny.

("_YOU DO NOT HEX YOUR SISTER'S BOYFRIENDS!_")

Lauren hates me (wait, she already does anyway) and probably Hugo too. I swear, I just need cousins near my age at Hogwarts. Derek doesn't really offer me any moral support, unless he ends up in detention too (hardly, since he scapegoats people all the time or McGonagall will separate our prison sentences).

With these three hours I could be doing:

1. Planning the upcoming Quidditch season.  
2. Head Boy duties.  
3. Wooing Lauren.

Things I wouldn't be doing:

1. Homework.  
2. Writing essays.  
3. Getting hexed by Lauren.

So, I'm practically going to have a book before I'm done. And McGonagall is now leaning over my desk, demanding the parchment. Apparently I'm having too much fun writing this.

James Sirius Potter II  
(don't _forget_ the roman numerals!)

-x-

_October 15, 2021_

My detention for hexing Lily's boyfriend is over, but now I landed here for something else. I'm just going to stop wishing that I won't have to see this hellish place ever again. I don't know what it is! Rose says I'm a magnet to trouble, which I agree with. These things just happen.

This time, I may have accidentally punched a kid in the face. Not just any kid -- one that was in Slytherin. He was making the moves on Lauren, which was completely intolerable and unheard of. I made sure that the entire school knew that she was off limits (whether or not she disproved that rumor or not). This kid did not know the boundaries, and he was going to pay.

And, this wasn't a time for spells. This was time for physical violence (which I don't condone by the way!) and I gave him a mean right hook. It was like, seriously amazing. Lauren wasn't very impressed, and she was the one that told McGonagall of the mishap.

McGonagall threw me into detention for longer this time, since I wasn't setting a very good example for the kids as Head Boy. She commended Lauren, and threatened to put us together to work together. I didn't mind, but Lauren was very vocal about not doing that.

On a side note, I'd like to add that I'm ever closer to attaining Lauren's heart! She _actually_ gave me the time of day to talk about Quidditch. It was all very exciting. Anyway.

Professor Longbottom was watching over detention today. He's going to actually let me write, since he needs me to behave and remain captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He's cool.

So, I started making a rough list for my team. I have to hold try-outs naturally. But so far:

Seeker: Me.  
Keeper: Open.  
Chaser: Lily.  
Chaser: Open.  
Chaser: Patrick Finnigan.  
Beater: Hugo.  
Beater: MacMillan (regrettably; however, still one hell of a Beater).

I need a Keeper and a Chaser. Boo. I'll probably hold try-outs next week, since my detentions kept me from holding them. The first match is in the beginning of November, but I think we have a solid team... I think.

Otherwise, Longbottom won't be happy. And neither will I.

James Sirius Potter II  
(remember, the second!)

-x-

_November 19, 2021_

WE LOST TO RAVENCLAW. The capitals I just wrote does not even _remotely_ cover the amount of sadness/disappointment/fear I feel right now. I think I'm in detention because of this? I wouldn't be so surprised.

I'm going to rant to this parchment, since McGonagall won't listen to it (in general and since her favorite team lost). Okay, so I see the Snitch, right? I successfully track it down, evade the chasing Ravenclaw Seeker, and catch it! One hundred and fifty points for Gryffindor! However, when I look for the score, I see:

Ravenclaw: Two hundred.  
Gryffindor: _One hundred ninety_.

Naturally, I head over to my Chasers and yell at them.

"Why did you have to catch the Snitch, James? Think about that!" Lily yelled back.

"Because it's my job?" I shouted back, angrily.

"Well, I had the Quaffle and was about to throw it at the Keeper!"

"That's why we lost! You don't throw it at the Keeper!"

"You're impossible!"

"Relax, James," said Patrick, interrupting our sibling fight. "Their Chasers were the best I've seen in the last couple years."

"Well, blah! I'm going to get killed for not winning!"

And that's why I'm here in Classroom Eleven, destination for general detention.

However, some good news: I'm _dating_ Lauren. See, seven years of my obnoxious self changed her mind! We attended the Halloween Ball thing a few weeks ago, and stayed until they announced the champions for the tournament (sadly, will be mentioned in another chapter). Despite the fact that we're rivalry Houses and Quidditch teams, we're a solid couple. Even if we fight over the silliest things, like how Gryffindor is a much better House than Slytherin.

Anyway, McGonagall is glaring at me. I hope my team can regroup after the loss. Else, I'll be in here for the rest of my young life.

James Sirius Potter II  
(or else!)

-x-

_December 10, 2021_

Holiday is fast approaching! And here I am, writing once more. Professor Longbottom is back, and I have a feeling that they'll be watching detention every other time. I think they got over the loss, since we won against Hufflepuff.

It was a relatively easy win. The Chasers did better this time around, and by the time I caught the Snitch (I _always _catch it), we were way ahead.

Luckily I've just been able to write, rather than to clean vials or visit Hagrid in the middle of the forest. That was when I was younger I hope, since I don't want to clean gunk why thank you.

Let's see... what else is so exciting? Well, the Yule Ball for sure! Lauren and I are going together for sure, obviously. Albus and Vega are going together also... which I don't mind too much. I'd rather not see them snogging each other. My eyes are burning as I try and even picture that. Gah.

Lily and Hugo are too young. They're too young for dates anyway, so I've no problem with that. That means I have to deal with Rose and Scorpius. Those two puzzle me! It's almost annoying. Yeah, 'cause Scorpius is a complete gentleman to Rose, and I found that very hard to believe. Maybe I was wrong to judge Scorpius to be affiliated with evil.

All in all, it should be a good holiday. We will be staying at Hogwarts this year, but I'm completely fine with that. More time to spend with Lauren!

James Sirius Potter II  
(is an _extremely_ great kisser!)

-x-

_January 31, 2022_

THESE CAPITAL LETTERS STILL DO NOT SHOW THE AMOUNT OF SURPRISE I HAVE. Lily and Hugo _both_ found a way to attend the Yule Ball! Oh, the audacity! Lily went with a Slytherin, named Cassiopeia Zabini (apparently a nice Slytherin), and Hugo went with a Hufflepuff named Olivia Bones. I kept my eye on them throughout the dance, which went relatively well. Lauren was getting irritated after awhile, so I gave up toward the end and focused all my attention on her.

I hoped that everyone else besides Albus and Vega weren't dating. That'd be horrifying.

Snogging Lauren was really wonderful, though.

Derek and I played a lot of Wizard's Chess over break, and he won every single time. I don't how he bloody does it, but he does. Nobody challenges him (we occasionally play for bets) since they all know his excellent skills.

Besides that, we found out that we were playing Slytherin next week. It pumped us up, because this would determine what tier we'd be in. And, more importantly, Lauren and Albus would be playing against us. It would determine the better House I supposed.

I'm in here this time because my previous sentence spilled into this month. I don't really like that, but I must get detention over with. And McGonagall is now hovering over me with a handful of vials to be cleaned... great.

James Sirius Potter II  
(hates cleaning vials!)

-x-

_February 16, 2022_

So! Good news! We beat the Slytherins fair and square, even though Lauren told Albus to hit a Bludger at me as well. They're both Beaters, which was totally unfair since they could gang up on me. But still, I caught the Snitch and sent our total points to skyrocket!

First tier, yeah! It's been determined that we get to play Slytherin for the Quidditch Cup. Bring it, Lauren!

Anyway, today Lauren and I got put into detention. Yeah, she wasn't so pleased when McGonagall told us that we had to serve detention. On the plus side, I introduced Lauren to the Sorting Hat, who had forgiven me.

Detention, for what? PDA, or commonly referred to as 'public display of affection'. I didn't really see what was so wrong with it? On Valentine's Day, we were just celebrating the holiday. I mean, c'mon! What's so wrong about snogging in the corridor?

It's highly inappropriate, especially for Head Boy and Girl to be snogging apparently. Then I ask 'myself', why did she select us to be such an important person at Hogwarts?

"Because Mr. Potter," McGonagall said, "despite your delinquent personality, you have that sense of leadership and common sense hidden beneath that vain and arrogant façade."

"Touché," I returned.

Lauren keeps looking at me. I think she wants me to talk to her, but I'm starting to like this journal thing. And besides, it's not like I want to get in trouble for talking in detention. Then I'd have to visit Hagrid, since I haven't in awhile. I visit the hut at least once a month, but I'd rather not have to go because of detention.

It's only February, but I think the year has gone by quite quickly. And it can only get better.

James Sirius Potter II  
(who will bring fame and glory to the Gryffindor House when his team wins the Quidditch Cup!)

-x-

_April 1, 2022_

Haha, April Fool's Day.

Anyway, notice my good behavior? I managed to stay away for at least a couple months. Progress, I assure you! However, the streak ended because of the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match-up.

There was dirty playing on each side, probably mostly egged on by Lauren and I. However, this was stressful! We both wanted to win so badly before we left Hogwarts for good. And that meant _anything_ necessary.

This game went on for hours and hours, at least. Every time I went for the Snitch, Lauren and Albus would find a Bludger to beat at me and deter my path for the Snitch. I'd have to find it again, either by myself or with help from the Slytherin Seeker. It got so bad that a Bludger got me into the shoulder, and I had to use my left arm to try for the Snitch.

The rest of us remained unscathed for the most part. Lily and Patrick got hassled by the Slytherin Chasers (minor bumping, not enough for a penalty). Even Lauren and Albus received a bit of their own medicine (bumping, stray Bludgers almost hitting them). But after, what, three hours just about? I finally caught the Snitch. That put our total points well over Slytherin's, and we received the Quidditch Cup.

McGonagall even smiled for once as she held out the trophy. My shoulder hurt like bloody hell, but I managed to raise it with my left arm.

But, of course, there were repercussions for our actions. It was pretty obvious that things started to get out of hand quickly, and McGonagall decided that it was best to send ourselves to detention to think about what happened.

Lauren was still trying to get me to talk. Couldn't she see that I was writing this important little journal thing? Anyway, I was surprised to see that she wanted to talk to me. She had been glaring at me the entire time I held the trophy. That's the way the Quaffle deflates, I'm afraid.

Professor Longbottom was overseeing detention, and allowed us to 'apologize' to each other.

"Potter--"

"James Sirius Potter the second, please."

"You get James, and only James."

"Continue."

"James, I'm sorry that Albus and I hit Bludgers toward you which inadvertently knocked into your shoulder."

"Lauren, I'm sorry that we competed for the Cup so brutally. I'm sorry for winning."

"Yeah, I'm sure..."

"Professor Longbottom?"

He looked up at my question.

"Can we snog to make-up officially?"

"Absolutely not."

We snuck a kiss anyway.

"I saw that, Mr. Potter."

"April Fools?" I suggested.

Yeah, so, it was quite an eventful year so far. The end was coming quickly to an end. I just had to survive detention...

James Sirius Potter II  
(is amazing!)

-x-

_June 17, 2022_

This is the last time I'm going to write, I'm afraid! The school year is over in a couple weeks, and I'm just relaxing now. Well, aside from this detention I have to serve. At least I don't have to go to the Forbidden Forest.

Y'see, I got into an argument with the Sorting Hat while in McGonagall's office. He didn't particular like my career choice, as he envisioned me to go on as an Auror like Harry. Er, do I look like my father? That's Albus!

Anyway, the hat was upset because I told it that I wanted to be a Healer. Odd, I know. I don't know, I really like that stuff and all. And I suffered through seven years of Herbology and Potions, so it has got to pay off.

I don't really crave to follow in his steps, y'know? I want to separate myself from his image now. My parents won't mind I'm sure. They know being a Healer is what I'd like to do.

As for Lauren, I don't know what the bloody hell she wants to be. It seems to change from day to day. Lately she's told me that she wants to become an Auror. Good for her!

Luckily for her, she didn't get to join me in detention. McGonagall caught me borrowing the Boggart without permission, and here I am writing away.

McGonagall promised that I wouldn't have clean any vials while I was here. Thank Merlin. I'm permanently scarred from those experiences.

So, was detention worth it? _Hell yeah_!

**Moral of the story**: Do you want to know I think of detention? IT SUCKS. And that time, the capitals do declare my hatred for detention. Advice: don't do anything stupid to land yourself here because it's not worth spending three hours cleaning vials or writing a journal. Seriously.


	10. Christmas & Yule Ball

**_Author's Note:_**

Next chapter, as promised. Late for the holidays, but at least it's finally completed. (:

Protective!James, silliness galore, J/L fluff, and a little A/V fluff too. Yay! Enjoy!

Loligo7687

* * *

Chapter 10 – Christmas/Yule Ball

Well, what else can I say about Christmas? Gifts, trees, ribbon, mistletoe, bells, and ham? Yeah, the good old holidays! That means I have time away from classes, detention, and McGonagall. It's the best present ever!

Albus, Lily, and I were required to come home for holiday every year. Save for this year, because the Triwizard Tournament was being held at Hogwarts for the first time in nearly twenty seven years. I think McGonagall just wanted to spite me for the seven years of grief I've given her. I'm convinced.

Anyway, that meant that the highly popular Yule Ball was scheduled for the night before Christmas, and therefore we were all staying to attend it. Then again, it meant that I had more time to spend with Lauren. Now _that's_ a better present, I'd say. Screw the other one.

Lauren and I were _obviously_ attending together. That was given. Albus and Vega were going together, as well as Rose and Scorpius. Lily and Hugo were too young (fourth years and over, unless accompanied by an older student), so I didn't have to worry about them. My overprotective personality was kicking in, and it was going to be a detriment to my fun. However, I was going to try to be the relaxed older sibling/cousin. Yeah, right.

Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students were allowed to attend, since they were part of the tournament. Much to my disappointment, they hardly interacted with us Hogwarts kids. Something about the last tournament didn't go over so well… I don't know really… that's one of the stories I'm not allowed to hear until I graduate. And it's too much effort to find out on my own…

The tournament was not only a way to win fame and fortune, but an opportunity to unite under one cause. Though we were three different schools, and had three different champions, it was supposed to tie us together to realize that we were not so dissimilar. But for another chapter, alas!

Now, the Yule Ball was being held in the Great Hall. After dinner, the professors went to work to spruce the place up and make it Christmas themed. A large tree was decorated in the Hall, there was mistletoe, and frilly decorations scattered about the room. The band was toward the back, while a cleared out space left room for people to dance. It was quite lovely.

A general tip to keep in mind is that you should never tell a girl to hurry up. Putting time and effort into their appearance is very important to them, and ultimately might get you attacked with various spells. Yeah, don't do that.

**Moral of the story: **Don't do the aforementioned thing, really. You'll regret it. Lauren, Rose, Vega, and Lily are all the same. Crazy. Hm, I think we've already gone over how insane girls are. It's a repeating pattern I'd say.

Derek and I were ready in a matter of minutes. All we needed to do really was put on our dress robes and brush our hair to make it look nicer than normal. That took all of what… ten minutes? Maybe? And that was an hour before the Yule Ball even started. _Albus_ even beat the girls. Derek and I were meandering around the Entrance Hall while we waited, and then decided to pick on Albus to entertain ourselves until the girls arrived. It was quite amusing.

Oh, honestly, it wasn't _that_ mean. We just teased him about Vega.

Derek's date arrived first. She was from Beauxbatons, and strangely nice. I'd always to try to talk to a group of giggling girls from there, but they'd just continue laughing and roll their eyes. To say the least Derek was one lucky guy. Eh, I tried not to look at her low-cut dress. Was that even allowed? Anyway, he gave me a smirk and entered the Great Hall, leaving Albus and I alone.

"Who's that bird?" Albus asked, shrugging.

"Some Beauxbatons girl, I dunno," I replied. "He loves speaking French, so I'm sure he's in the high heavens now."

We leaned against one of the walls, endlessly waiting for our dates to come. Ten minutes went by, then fifteen, and I was growing a _little_ impatient. What was taking so long?

The next person we recognized was Scorpius Malfoy. I finally had to admit the fact that Rose had obvious feelings for him, and they were returned. I also had to admit that Albus and Scorpius were friends, being in the same House and year. Refraining from smirking at him, he greeted us cordially and stood next to Albus.

"Did you see Rose yet?" he asked, and we shook our heads.

"Lauren and Vega haven't come yet either," Albus said, shrugging. "They're just taking their time, I just know it."

I tapped my foot impatiently. "I didn't dance with McGonagall for nothing," I said, sulking.

We had dance lessons, since the type of dancing nowadays would sure cause McGonagall to faint. She insisted on teaching the _proper_ way of dancing, and therefore needed a partner. She called me out, naturally, and it was the most awkward and weird thing I have ever done. I don't think I slept for days, and Lauren couldn't keep a straight face for the next week.

**Moral of the story:** Don't ever dance with McGonagall. It's unnecessary and awkward. And your girlfriend will laugh at you for an entire week.

"It's seven fifty one!" I complained, looking at my watch. "It's starts in nine minutes!"

Albus gave me a stern look. "Look, James, you don't need to be there right at eight. You have four hours to dance. No big deal if you miss a half hour or less."

Easy for him to say. I looked toward the stairs again, and there, the girls from Ravenclaw appeared. Rose and Vega were all prettied up and smiling. Scorpius and Albus immediately took the cue to meet them, and each raised their arm to allow the girls to loop their arm around theirs. Lauren was going to be the death of me, I swear. She was probably doing this on purpose.

Rose wore a pink dress that touched the floor, and her hair was all pinned up. Vega, on the other hand, wore a purple dress with a shawl. Her hair was down, but the longer pieces of hair were pinned to the side. Their dresses reminded me of Lauren – what in the bloody hell was she wearing again? Did she mention it to me before?

Vega gave me a little wave before they entered, and I sighed rather dramatically. Now I looked like an antisocial prat without a date. Great, just fantastic. Thanks Lauren.

Seven fifty nine. Could she cut it any closer? I closed my eyes momentarily, and when I opened them again, Lauren was standing right in front of me. I had to check to see if she was real or not.

I kissed her on the mouth. "You're real!" I exclaimed.

She smirked. "Of course I am, you git," Lauren replied, pulling me by the wrist.

Lauren chose to wear a green dress. How original. It touched the floor, but the heels she was wearing almost made her taller than me. I didn't really mind that, just the fact that I'd have to avoid stepping on her dress when we danced.

"You know, Rose and Vega beat you here," I commented casually. "That's remarkable."

"I was trying to impress you, James," she pouted, pushing the curls out of her face. I couldn't tell whether she was being sincere or not.

"Well, you didn't need to go and put that extra gunk on your face for me. You're already very beautiful without it on."

Lauren genuinely smiled. We both looked up simultaneously to see mistletoe dangling curiously without a ceiling. She kissed me underneath, until I heard a loud noise that sounded like someone clearing their throat, but it was a tactic to draw attention to that person. I turned, and my eyes widened.

"Run, it's McGonagall!" I said, fearing for my life. We avoided her successfully… for now.

Mixed among the crowd of dancing students, I naturally started searching for Derek and his date. We needed to clear up the bet that Lauren did come, so I could collect my winnings. However, I saw a more disturbing sight… I saw my _sister_.

"Leave her alone," Lauren warned me, but it was too late for that. She reluctantly followed me to the spot where Lily and her date were dancing. Game on.

"Lily!" I exclaimed, and she turned around. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Don't swear at me," she snapped, continuing to dance in place. "I came with Cass. He's a Slytherin."

Lily wanted to push my buttons too. "What did I tell you, woman?"

"Lauren's a Slytherin."

"She's right, James."

"Don't side with her, Lauren. She's mischievous. How'd you get in?"

"Cassiopeia has connections."

"At thirteen?"

"Yeah, so?"

I bit my knuckle. "I'm proud of you, Lily. I mean it."

She rolled her eyes, but she patted my shoulder. "Thanks James. Besides, Hugo is here too."

Lily continued before I could speak. "Cassiopeia helped them in too. Just enjoy your night, dear brother," she said, turning away.

"I don't think your brother likes me," Cassiopeia said, but I heard it too.

"That's right!" I announced, and Lily turned on me and pushed.

"Go away!" she yelled, and Lauren had to drag me away.

"Can you believe the audacity?" I said, shrugging. Lily took after me, alright. Gryffindor, Quidditch player, mischief maker! We had a lot in common.

"You know what, James?" Lauren said, beginning to dance. "Shut up."

I did. It was in my best interest to. We danced for a lengthy amount time, and we both agreed to go find Derek and/or Albus and Vega. It was going to be interesting to say the least.

Parting the crowd, we pushed through until we came across the French girl and Derek. He twirled her around before saying something French to Lauren and I.

"I don't know what the hell that means Derek, but we just wanted to say hi," I said, slightly irritated. He just laughed.

Lauren narrowed her eyes. "I don't like you, Derek."

Derek stopped laughing. "I don't like you either, Lauren."

"Well, aren't you two the best friends forever!" I joked, earning two glares for that comment. "What?"

"Let's go find Albus and Vega," Lauren said, dragging me in the opposite direction now.

"Bye, Derek. Remember, you owe me from our bet!" I reminded him, but he was already absorbed in his date. Wow.

"What bet?" Lauren inquired.

"Er, nothing," I said quickly. "Is that Albus and Vega over there?"

I didn't know why she was so into finding Albus and Vega, besides the fact that Albus was in her House and she and Vega didn't really get along too well. Eventually they might, but Lauren was too brazen and mean. Vega was completely the opposite.

Once we found the couple, I wanted to stab my eyes out. They were kissing! My retinas were burning! Lauren told me to grow up, so I had to.

"Hey there," Lauren greeted, breaking my brother and friend apart.

"I'm going to ignore the fact that you two just kissed, okay?" I added in, and Vega was instantly attacking me for my statement.

"Like you and Lauren don't kiss all the time," she retorted.

"Well, that's different."

"How so?"

I paused. "We're seventeen, you're fourteen."

"That's a well-thought out argument."

"I know."

Vega rolled her eyes. A slow song interrupted our quarrel, so I decided to take the opportunity to get close to Lauren. I put my hands around her waist (Harry's advice, I assure you, as I eye roll), and pulled her toward me. She put her arms around my neck as we swayed gracefully to the rhythm.

"Well, this is nice."

"Mhm."

Lauren suddenly giggled. "McGonagall really taught you how to dance."

I grimaced. "Yeah, yeah sure. I was born with these moves, you know."

"Aren't you the—"

"There are young ears here!"

"Well, they should be more worried about their eyes."

We kissed. It was splendid. By that time, however, it was nearing midnight. Couples were beginning to file out, and Lauren and I decided that we'd antagonize people we knew to further show how much we deserved to be Head Boy and Girl.

Rose and Scorpius kissed briefly, causing me to squirm. "Get back to Ravenclaw Tower, missy!" I exclaimed, and Rose gave me a look that could kill.

All in all, it was a good night. I think, anyway.

When I awoke the next morning, I saw Derek trying to sneak into bed. This was going to be good, I just knew it.

"So, ah, Derek… where have you been?" I asked.

He blushed very visibly. "Er, nowhere. I just checked to see if they had early breakfast."

I gave him a look. "The truth?"

"Another day," he said, throwing the covers on himself.

**Moral of the story:** This might require a list format…

--DON'T DANCE WITH MCGONAGALL. Heed the capitals.

--Being a protective older sibling can really annoy the younger siblings.

--You can get into the Yule Ball with connections.

--Girls take forever to get ready.

--Kissing is awesome.

--Learn French (the language, of course, kiddos).

Well, a short helpful hint for Christmas. Buy everyone close a present. If you don't, then, people start to hate you. So I bought Lauren, Derek, the siblings, and cousins something each. Hogsmeade is a life-saver. Literally.

Lily hated me for an entire month until I gave her my old broomstick. Just an example.

Happy Holidays!


	11. Houses

_**Author's Note:**_

It's been awhile for sure! Oh, college.

I'm trying to figure out a way to update regularly... I was thinking of once a week. I have fifty chapters planned, and if I don't find a schedule, it's never going to be completed.  
By the next update, I should have something figured out. (:

So, enjoy this next chapter! (And a AVPM reference. ;D)

Loligo7687

* * *

Chapter 11: Houses

Each House in Hogwarts is very different indeed. I would know. I suppose I should let you all know what to expect from every House, good or bad. Or even indifferent. We all have our flaws and weaknesses; our strengths and positive traits. Yet, the Sorting Hat knows what lies beneath our exteriors because what we reveal is not always the truth. And the Houses are supposed to bring out the best of our abilities and well as unite us with people similar to ourselves; it is not supposed to break the Wizarding peer community apart.

Unless you count me, that is. It was almost 'forbidden' for Gryffindors and Slytherins to mix on more than an acquaintance level… I don't know why, don't ask. I singlehandedly broke the mold of the old ways; I loved a Slytherin and there was no stopping it.

**GRYFFINDOR:**

The best House of them all. The other three don't even come close to the greatness of the Gryffindor House. And this _isn't_ because of my excessive pride or ego. Well, maybe.

Each House has their own traits (we covered this in an earlier chapter, no?) which makes them unique. Us Gryffindors are generally known to be brave, loyal, and prideful. You could also add arrogance, egotistical, and stubborn. We're all flawed in some aspect. Even know-it-all Rose Weasley.

Derek, Lily, Hugo, and I all belong to this wonderful House. We also lend our awesome Quidditch skills to make sure our House stays on top! About the House Cup… yeah… we don't really talk about that.

"I think people would like you more if you weren't so full of yourself, or a pain in the you-know-what," Vega pointed out one day.

"I don't think so," I replied, my hands flying to my hips for a dramatic effect. Vega and Lily didn't appreciate the mocking most of the time.

Vega shook her head. "You naturally clash with Lauren and the rest of the Slytherins," she replied.

"I get along with Albus just fine."

"He's your brother, that's why."

"How do you know all this?"

"Because I'm a Ravenclaw, James."

I narrowed my eyes. "Touché, Vega, touché," I replied.

She laughed. "Maybe if you weren't acting like yourself for three seconds, you might see a difference," she said.

It was my turn to laugh. I didn't need to reply to convey my feelings.

"Right. As if I should ever suggest that," Vega said, rolling her eyes.

"Lauren will come around," I said. "She's just denying this for now."

"Maybe, just maybe, she doesn't like your seat on the high horse you've found," she replied.

"What high horse?"

"It's an expression."

"Oh."

Vega rolled her eyes again. "I definitely see why you've been placed in Gryffindor."

"Are you insinuating something, Vega?" I asked, smirking.

"Never, James. Ravenclaws know better," she replied, winking.

**Moral of the story: **Do I even need to say what the moral is? Well, I'm going to say it anyway. Gryffindors. Are. The. Best. Read it and weep, Slytherins.

**HUFFLEPUFF:**

"What _is_ a Hufflepuff anyway?" Derek asked.

I shrugged. "Good question."

Lily and Hugo tag-teamed on us immediately. Never a dull moment in the Great Hall!

"Don't be so ignorant," she commented, folding her arms across her chest.

"Do you know what one is?" Derek shot back.

"I'm dating one," Hugo retorted.

"Well, bring her here then and we'll ask her!" I said, smirking.

Hugo scurried away.

"I heard that they're good at finding things," Lily offered, shrugging.

"But definitely loyal too," Derek added.

"What else though? There has to be more!" I exclaimed, looking around for Hugo.

Eventually, Hugo returned to the table with his Hufflepuff girlfriend, Olivia. She was a petite little thing; I wondered if she ate anything. Hugo shot me a 'don't-say-anything' look.

"Olivia, what's a Hufflepuff?" Derek asked, for all of us.

"You _dragged_ me all the way here just so you could ask me _that_?" she replied, heading into the offensive position.

"Truthfully? Yes," I said. "C'mon Olivia! This is for proper and correct nostalgia purposes."

Olivia sighed. "I suppose it can't hurt, can it?" she said at last.

Lily looked interested as well. "Hufflepuffs are good finders, aren't they?" she asked, seriously.

"I suppose. I hardly misplace my things and never find them again," Olivia replied.

"Well, what else?" I added.

"First off, it's safe to say that we're a modest, noncompetitive bunch," she started to say, looking at Derek and I specifically. "We're also hard working, patient, friendly, fair, and nonjudgmental," Olivia continued, smiling.

"Well aren't you all little rays of sunshine!" I commented. The comment was not appreciated.

"Just because the rest of the Houses have more defined traits doesn't mean we're so terrible," she said, frowning. "Hufflepuffs have a little bit of each, I think."

Lily nodded. "You guys sound fun. It would be easier if we had classes together," she said.

Olivia laughed. "Believe me, we all think the same thing."

"Case in point, Vega and Rose," I added, and the rest nodded. "I think I like Hufflepuffs now."

**Moral of the story: **Though Hufflepuffs may be the most unrepresented House at Hogwarts, they're probably the nicest people you'll ever meet. And, for the rest of you, you now know what a Hufflepuff really is. Courtesy of Olivia Bones.

**RAVENCLAW:**

Just saying Vega and Rose sums up the entire House. Honestly.

Ravenclaws are intelligent and perceptive most of all. They're also witty and knowledgeable. Everyone knows that, especially when I want my entire essay practically written for me. Gryffindors aren't _too _stupid sometimes.

"What do you want, James?" Rose asked, annoyed. Albus had convinced her to meet us down at the grounds where we were practicing some Quidditch skills, which Vega did not want to partake in. Instead, she sat at the base of a tree and corrected my horrible essay. Every now and then I'd hear her mumble about how something was incorrect.

"What other traits do Ravenclaws possess besides the obvious?" I asked, throwing the Quaffle at Albus.

"Why, you mean besides being intelligent, perceptive, witty, and knowledgeable?" she replied with a smirk. "You _dragged_ me all the way from the library so you could ask me _that_?"

Girls. Honestly.

"Yes. This is for proper and correct nostalgia purposes, Rose. So go on," I returned, trying to resist the temptation to throw the Quaffle at _her_.

"Well, I suppose we're also pretty level-headed and noticeably beautiful," Rose replied, flipping her hair to the side. I burst out laughing.

That was my demise, however. Rose grabbed the Quaffle out of Albus' hands and hit me with it. "Ow! Rose!" I complained.

"Well, don't be a pain in the arse," she replied.

"Ravenclaws are pretty perceptive I'd say," I replied, smirking. "Just the other day, Vega called me one as well."

"Not directly," Vega added in. "You did deserve it though."

"Thanks, Vega," I said, sarcastically.

"Maybe you should work on your romantic skills instead," Rose imputed.

"Albus, you've been quiet the entire time. Are you going to defend me or what?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I'm not getting involved."

"This is life or death!"

"Don't be such an extremist, James."

"Now you're just riling me up, Rose."

"She's right, though. Ravenclaws aren't ever wrong."

"Vega! Ravenclaws must be pompous and condescending as well."

"Oi! Don't call my cousin and girlfriend pompous and condescending!"

"So _now_ you speak, Albus?"

I got hit with the Quaffle again.

**Moral of the story:** Ravenclaws are intelligent and know-it-alls. It grates on my nerves sometimes. Because even _I'm_ wrong some of the time. Nobody can be right one hundred percent of the time. Right? Maybe?

**SLYTHERIN:**

Oh, Slytherins. There are many things I could say. But that wouldn't be fair to insert my bias opinion in my guide, would it? At I least I've got four that I could potentially ask, even if two of them are dating my sister and cousin.

"In your opinion, Lauren, what are the better and worst traits of the Slytherin House?" I asked her after Slytherin Quidditch practice.

"Why do _you_ want to know?" she replied, rolling her eyes.

"It's for proper and correct nostalgia purposes. Unless you want me to name some traits then?" I said, smirking.

"No, no way," Lauren said, pausing. I knew she'd take the bait. "Alright, so, Slytherins are ambitious, cunning, and determined. We're also a lot more sensible than Gryffindors, who act out in bravery whether or not the situation could kill them. Slytherins tend to disregard the rules too."

"Well, anything else?"

"Slytherins also tend to be… Pureblooded."

"There are exceptions, however."

"Yes, but very few."

I sighed. "I'm going to have to speak with the Sorting Hat next time I visit McGonagall."

Lauren blinked. "When's that?" she asked.

"Oh, about an hour or so from now."

"What did you do?"

"I disregarded the rules and acted out in bravery."

"Truly a Gryffindor."

"Truly a Slytherin."

She smirked. "Is this conversation over, or what?"

"I think so."

When I went to ask Scorpius and Cassiopeia their opinions, I had to have Rose and Lily come with me. They agreed on everything that Lauren had said before, but Scorpius had something to add.

"We're great kissers," he added.

"Wrong answer!" I replied, preparing my fist to knock his teeth in.

Rose pushed me back. "You're acting like an idiot," she said. "Take a joke when you hear one."

Scorpius looked on with indifference. "We aren't bad guys, James," he said.

"I know," I replied, gruffly. "I'm still not over the idea."

"Well," he sighed, draping an arm around Rose's shoulders. "I've heard from the older students that Lauren is a fantastic kisser."

"Really?" I said, carefully.

"Yeah, like, phenomenal," Cassiopeia imputed. "And she's going to be at the party tonight in the Slytherin Common Room."

"We'll let you in, James," Scorpius said, nodding.

I thought a moment before speaking. "I'll be there," I answered.

"See you at eight," Cassiopeia replied, walking away with Lily.

Rose and Scorpius left me as well. "Did you forget to tell him that Lily and I are coming as well?" she asked him, smiling.

"Oops," he said, grinning.

**Moral of the story: **Slytherins aren't completely horrible. They're people too. They just have… a bad reputation. But apparently they're great kissers. Also, they are ambitious, sensible, and cunning. Thought I'd forget that, huh?

Overall, it doesn't matter what House you belong in. The Sorting Hat placed you based on your traits and strengths and you can't lose. Wherever you fall, you will represent your House in good and bad ways. Like… disregarding the rules sometimes or earning points for the House Cup. The latter is preferred.

But Gryffindors and Slytherins are still rivalries in Quidditch for sure. Just throwing that out there…


	12. Snow

_**Author's Note:**_

I collaborated with Shinja again on this chapter. I had help with the last story, as well as the guinea pig in it. ;D  
She may write a story about Lauren's POV during these times. We'll see!

Also! I've decided to update regularly on _Saturdays_ starting in April (10th). Yay!  
It should be regular until the halfway mark at least.

Enjoy the next chapter!

Loligo7687

* * *

Chapter 12: Snow

You may think that this is a silly topic to talk about, but in fact it's a serious thing. It's just as serious as chapter five's topic. The light, fluffy snow you see falling can actually be a _big_ problem. Namely, enemies.

Every winter, you're going to see snow at one point. Get used to it! And get used to the problems it brings! Sure, it's pretty to look at. It's fun to roll around in and to make snowballs with to throw at Albus and Vega. Except when you have to dodge and sprint down to Hogsmeade.

It all started my first year, like practically everything else. Of course we weren't allowed to visit Hogsmeade (who is to say we didn't try?) but enjoying the grounds for what they were worth was a viable option indeed.

"Potter!"

I whipped around to see the source of the yelling, and I especially did that since the voice was female. I should have turned with caution, however, because my surname had been used.

A hard, cold, and white flying object hit the side of my face suddenly. I stood with my mouth hung open in surprise, and I heard laughter from Derek and Lauren. Lauren!?

Just then, Derek's face got hit with a snowball. Karma, dear friend. It was also out to get me.

"What did you do that for, Lauren?" I yelled back. She formed another snowball.

"To get it through your pea-sized brain that I don't like you at all," she replied, throwing the newly formed snowball.

I ducked. "Can't fool me twice," I replied, sticking out my tongue. Derek threw a snowball back at her. My cheek was burning and I could have sworn it was bruised.

Lauren dodged the snowball easily enough. Five of her Slytherin cronies joined her momentarily, and Derek and I exchanged similar looks. Fight or flight?

"Run!" I yelled, as a shower of snowballs rained upon us.

**Moral of the story: **Even though Derek and I are Gryffindors, there is a thing we like to call intelligence. Though we may use it far less than Ravenclaws, it overpowers courage when the ratio is six Slytherins to two Gryffindors. Never _ever _engage in snowball fights when your team has less people than your opponent's team. You'll regret it.

Skipping over a few years (because of the moral above, shudder), I arrive at my fifth year. Albus, Rose, and Scorpius were of Hogsmeade age and I took full advantage of it.

You see, the path down to Hogsmeade village is a dangerous one. Stake-outs and ambushes are fairly common. However, I too partook in these, especially to annoy the hell out of Rose. Since it was "immature" and "stupid", she automatically condemned it. Really, I only sought to knock Scorpius off her arm. Literally.

They were growing closer as the years progressed, and I had to assertively proclaim my feelings about it – subtly. Without Albus knowing, I had him lead the couple near my hiding spot.

The snowball was prepared and perfect; it was going to ruin his "handsome" looks (as some of the girls said, including Rose—bleh!). Problem was, the Firewhiskey I had earlier influenced my accuracy. Last time my fellow Gryffindors will persuade me to do _that _again… maybe.

Albus yelped in pain. I had thrown it at his arm by mistake. _Nice aim, James_.

It came with consequences. Rose spotted me with ease. Scorpius and Albus followed her like lost puppies. I thought I saw steam coming from her ears, but it could have been the effects of the Firewhiskey.

"What do you think you're doing, James?" she said, jabbing her finger into my chest.

I shrugged. "Having fun?" I suggested.

"At the expense of others?" she returned, without missing a beat. "Really mature, James."

"What else should I do then?"

"Leave us alone."

"I didn't mean to hit Albus, I meant to plaster Scorpius."

Scorpius smirked. "Better work on your aim, mate," he said, simply.

"Normally, it's fine," I tried to explain, losing my footing momentarily. "But we found some –"

Rose cut me off. "Honestly, James? Shove off," she said, pushing me into the snow. It was cold.

"Oi, Albus, help me up!"

Laughter. "No."

"Why not?"

"It's funny to watch. You deserve it."

"ALBUS!"

**Moral of the story:** Enemies and family alike are to be wary of. Not just with snow, but in everyday life. That's for another time. Maybe.

But the snow can be fun as well! I singlehandedly organized a Potter, Weasley, and DiGiacomo/Ackart/Malfoy/Zabini/Bones epic snowball fight. Since it was Lauren, Derek, and I's last year at Hogwarts, we might as well end the last winter with a bang.

It was February when this event took place. I gathered up all the people involved, which took longer than trying to organize a Quidditch team. The girls lagged behind the most, especially when I had to goad my sister out of her dormitories.

"You look _fine_, Lily," I yelled up the stairs.

"You haven't even _seen_ me, James," she replied.

"It's a snowball fight, honestly. Your appearance isn't going to be spotless by the time it's over," I returned, shaking my head.

Hugo tried. "Rose, Vega, and Olivia are ready," he said, and Lily didn't reply.

A flash of red came down the stairs a moment later. "Well, now that the Gryffindors are ready, let's go," I said, shaking my head. Halfway to the dungeons, I turned around.

"Where in the bloody hell did Derek go?" I asked.

"Stop swearing. He said he's going to meet us there," Lily assured me, skipping ahead with Hugo. I didn't further question her.

Lily returned with Cassiopeia quickly enough, but Lauren remained in the dungeons. She shrugged when I asked her where she was.

"She's getting ready," she said.

"Lauren takes _forever_. The Yule Ball was torture!" I complained, frowning. "We're never going to get outside!"

"Don't complain, James. There's plenty of daylight left," Cassiopeia imputed.

I looked from Lily to Cassiopeia. "You're almost alike in a creepy way," I commented.

Hugo went to see his sister and girlfriend at the Entrance Hall, while Lily and Cassiopeia were nice enough to stay while Lauren 'got ready'.

"You two aren't going to make-out in front of me, are you?" I asked.

"No, we just do it behind your back," Lily replied.

"And we could go on about the _other_ stuff we do…" Cassiopeia added.

"No, no, absolutely not!" I replied, covering my eyes. "I don't even know why I let you two date!"

Lily shook her head. "The poor, naïve brother I have."

I shot her a look.

"True, true," Cassiopeia agreed.

"What'd I miss?" said a voice emerging from the dungeons. Lauren had finally gotten her stuff together and met us.

"Too much information you'd rather not know," I returned, shooting them both another look. They shrugged simultaneously.

I stole a kiss from Lauren as the younger children turned to walk toward the Entrance Hall. "You know, you like to keep me waiting a lot," I commented.

She immediately smirked. "But I'm a girl," she said, annunciating each word slowly.

"Obviously."

"I need time to get ready."

"Not twenty minutes or more, especially with the knowledge ahead of time."

"Well, you don't even brush your hair."

I did a run through quickly. "It looks okay," I replied.

"No, it's sticking every which way," she said, giggling.

I frowned. "Who cares, I'm still charming."

"So incredibly charming."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Rose, Scorpius, Hugo, Olivia, Albus, and Vega were all waiting at the door leading toward the grounds. Rose looked like she was in tremendous pain.

"This had better be fun for me to give up an entire afternoon," Rose said, grabbing onto Scorpius' arm.

"Trust me, it'll be one you'll never forget," I returned.

The words – how true!

"Where are we going again?" asked Vega, noticing that we hadn't stopped at the usual grounds of choice.

"The Black Lake," I said, proudly.

"Why on earth would we have a snowball fight there?"

"It's more fun."

"I don't think so."

"Wait and you'll see."

The new coating of snow had dusted the frozen lake (the top layer, of course) with enough snow to enjoy ourselves with. McGonagall never encouraged us to walk on the frozen lake, but who listened to the old bat anyway?

I took the first step onto the ice. "See, it's solid!" I exclaimed.

Lauren followed me, followed by the rest of the group. The girls were more uneasy about this than the guys, but it was expected. Derek even emerged from wherever he was.

"Where have _you_ been?" I inquired.

He blushed. "Nowhere in particular," he replied.

I wanted to ask, but I just wanted the fun to begin. "Let's split into teams – boys versus girls shall we?" I announced.

"No! Unfair!" Lauren exclaimed. "There are six guys to five girls!"

"Not to mention that it's boys versus girls," Rose imputed.

"That's alright," I said. "Albus can join the girls."

Albus frowned. "I resent that, James," he said.

Derek offered a suggestion. "Let's split up the pairs. I'll go to the team opposite of James," he said, and it was agreed upon.

"Alright then," I said. "Lauren, Albus, Lily, Scorpius, Olivia, and Derek can be on a team. Everyone else is on mine."

It was agreed upon as well.

"Begin!" I yelled, and the snowball fight commenced.

A hail storm of snowballs fell on each side, sometimes hitting their targets. In the mass confusion, I decided to aim for Lauren. Makes up for our first year.

"James!" she shrieked when I ran up to her and threw a pile of soft snow at her. She tried pushing me down, but she ended up tripping the both of us.

"Good thing I was the cushion, huh?" I commented.

"Well, if you weren't being such a prat," she said.

"Well, you look like you need a kiss," I added.

She stuffed some snow into my face. "Nice try."

We returned to the melee. Even Rose and Vega looked into it, since they had been complaining nearly the entire time down to the lake. It was supposed to be fun, a bonding time! It was even a time to get over my grudges and unreasonable dislike for Scorpius and Cassiopeia.

They only thing that interrupted our fight was the unmistakable cracking of ice.

"What was _that_?" Lily asked, worriedly.

Derek answered. "_That_," he started to say, "was the ice."

"Move slowly," I cautioned, but Rose was panicking far worse than anyone.

"This is your fault, James! I knew something like this would happen! If anything happens to me because of this, I'm going to—" Rose said, being cut off by a noise nobody wanted to hear.

A splash. Rose confirmed it with her cry of horror.

"Scorpius!"

"Well, at least the teams are even now," I joked, but Rose looked like she was going to throttle me at the moment.

"Go save him!" she yelled, pointing at the hole in the ice.

"Alright, alright!" I said, inching toward the hole. Too bad no spells came to my mind. Lauren and Derek herded the rest of the group off the ice, including Rose.

I didn't see him at the surface, but I stuck my arm through the frigid water and clenched onto something hard. It had to be Scorpius.

Pulling as hard as I could, Scorpius emerged to the surface gasping for air. I pulled again to make sure he was out of the frigid water and onto more solid ice. He managed to cough up the rest of the water in his lungs.

I tried apologizing. It had been my fault…

"I'm sorry, Scorpius," I managed to get out. "I shouldn't have suggested we do this."

He shivered. "Don't be. You didn't know it was going to happen," he returned.

Maybe Scorpius wasn't so bad after all.

"You're not half bad after all," I commented.

Scorpius looked up. "Yeah, same to you."

Awkward pause. "Don't tell Rose."

"I promise I won't."

Rose dried Scorpius off with a drying spell, and everything was okay for the time being. Well, not with Rose, but Scorpius and I were on better terms nowadays.

**Moral of the story:** The Black Lake may not be completely frozen in February. Lesson learned of course. But unexpected things come from snowballs, whether they are bad or good. Sure, it may be a horrible moral, but you get the drift.

Hah, pun. I'm so charming.


	13. Bets

_**Author's Note:**_

I lied. It's Monday. I've started working on the next chapter, so it shall follow the schedule again.

Not much romance in this one, but I like to think of it as developing Derek's character a bit. ;D

Any ideas for future chapters are always welcome! Enjoy!

~Loligo7687

* * *

Chapter 13: Bets

Don't bet. Unless you're feeling lucky at that moment.

But really, don't. You'll end up losing more than your Galleons and your dignity. I strongly caution you with the thirteenth chapter of the guide.

Now, you may be wondering: James, what kind of betting could _you_ get yourself into? Of course I have an answer for that! There is a considerable amount of ways to get involved.

The most popular of betting techniques is to build an ongoing tally of professional Quidditch teams. Since the old bat doesn't like it, we have to keep it classified or else. To keep it fair enough, there are three opportunities to win –- first, second, and third place based on points and overall winner.

What else is there to do during Astronomy?

"You want to spend your Galleons wisely, don't you?" Derek asked, glancing at my choices on the parchment.

"What do you know about Quidditch, Derek?" I snapped back.

"More than you'd think," Derek replied, casually. "James, you sincerely believe that the Cannons are going to take it all?"

I grabbed back my parchment defensively. "It's still early," I replied.

"The Cannons lost their best guy… Ruddy or something along those lines…"

"It's Ruddick!"

"Yeah. He's better off with the Irish Nationals anyway."

I threw up my arms in disbelief. "We'll see, Derek. We've got the entire summer to go!"

Derek won that year. He also tried out that very school year for my Quidditch team. He's a Chaser now. Goes to show how much I really know.

What was even more interesting was the fact that McGonagall had found my discarded parchment in her office. I started that school year with a bang, though I was still upset over my terrible picks. She returned with the piece of parchment at her desk and read it over.

"I should give you a detention just for the lousy choices you made," McGonagall said, peering over her glasses.

Last time I ever leave a piece of parchment in her office again! I think I felt my jaw hit the floor –- it's not impossible I assure you.

"Not a word in response, Mr. Potter?" she mused. "Well, please don't trick the First Years into going in the greenhouses again."

"There's nothing _seriously_ wrong with the third one," I protested, pausing suddenly. "Wait, that's it? No detention or anything?"

"Correct, Mr. Potter. However, I do expect a win for Gryffindor on the first match," McGonagall replied, her expression unreadable.

"Yes, ma'am!" I exclaimed, scurrying out of her office before she could change her mind. What a freebie!

**Moral of the story: **1. Even though you may think you know everything about Quidditch, it means crap. I suppose that's why it's called betting –- you never know the true outcome until it happens. Ah, well. There's always next year.

2. Lousy choices can actually get you out of detention. I think, though, those choices are the ones that land you in that position in the first place.

Oh, and Minny knows her Quidditch.

The other type of betting involves a substantial drop in dignity and pride -– the 'I bet you can't do such and such' betting. It ranges from mildly entertaining to horribly embarrassing, but Derek and I's level of humility is at a flexible range.

For example, we had nothing to do on our first Hogsmeade trip. So, we embarked on a tour of The Three Broomsticks, which included a sampling of their Butterbeer. After planning out the rest of the weekend and waiting for Derek to stop impressing some Ravenclaw girls with French, we ordered two pints for the both of us.

Derek glanced at his first pint. "I bet that I could drink these quicker than you could," he said, grinning.

"No way, Ackart!" I returned, taking the challenge. "Winner gets five Galleons… deal?"

Derek stuck out his hand. "You're on."

We shook hands. I counted to three to commence the bet, however stupid it was. It was entertainment… at first.

The first Butterbeer was easy, I'll admit. It warmed my insides. The second pint was a lot tougher. And I mean it, unfortunately.

"Why did I even agree to this?" I complained, propping my head up with my arm. "I have a massive headache _and_ I feel sick."

Derek wasn't doing that well either. "Who won the bet?" he asked, with difficulty.

"I don't even _care _anymore. You could have it for all I care."

"Just call it a truce."

I grimaced. "Fine by me," I replied.

By the way Derek hurried out of The Three Broomsticks with his hand over his mouth, I knew that it was something we shouldn't have done. Chugging down two Butterbeers can cause for a lot of pain…

"Potter!"

I looked up at the sound of my name. Lauren was looking down at me with a smirk, and I noticed that her friends had grabbed a table far away in the meantime.

"Should I even bother to ask?" she asked, sighing. "Ackart's tossing his cookies, or should I say Butterbeer, outside."

"Thanks for the image," I said, groaning. "We decided to bet on which one of us could finish two Butterbeers first. But thanks for the concern."

"You guys are gits, you know," Lauren replied, shaking her head. "But as much as I enjoy watching you writhe in pain, I'm willing to help you two out."

Despite my headache and worsening vision, I saw Lauren take two mint-like candies out of her jacket to place near me.

"They'll help alleviate your nausea and possible vomiting, although it's too late for Ackart," she started to say. "No need to thank me."

She strolled away like nothing had happened. I, naturally skeptical, hesitatingly put the mint candy in my mouth. Then the strangest thing occurred –- my headache and nausea went away immediately! I knew I was taking my chances with Lauren -– she usually threatened my existence on a daily basis, but maybe she felt bad for me for once.

Derek eventually strolled back in, but his hands were still clutching his stomach. I passed the second candy to the opposite side of the table and he ate it up quickly.

"Where'd you get that miracle pill?" he asked.

"Err… Lauren stopped by," I said, trying to say it as quietly as I could.

Derek looked liked he wanted to throw up again. "W-What if she wanted to poison us?" he replied, horrified.

"Mate, she wouldn't do that," I assured him. "She's in the denial stage, that's all."

"For three years?" Derek said, shaking his head. "But remind me never to do anything like this again."

"Agreed!" I exclaimed.

**Moral of the story: **There are some types of betting that should never be attempted. Drinking Butterbeer really quickly is one. Though it makes you fuzzy and warm inside, large quantities make you _extremely _sick.

But it's always a nice story to tell in the future.

We also liked to challenge each other in chess. One particular night, Derek and I were playing a 'friendly' match of Wizard's Chess (with Derek slightly ahead with a queen and both rooks still in play). Strategy wasn't my strong point, so most of the time it was pure luck when I cornered Derek's king.

"Check," said Derek, his face stoic in expression. I, however, displayed a look of distress. I moved my king away, only to have Derek capture (more like, destroy) my last knight and force another check upon my king.

"Quidditch practice went well, didn't it?" I asked, sparking conversation to lighten the serious Derek. He snapped right out of his chess-playing trance.

"Oh, you should know," he teased, pondering his next move. "DiGiacomo was absolutely pissed at you."

"Obviously I know," I snapped back, as one of my pawns reached Derek's end. "Give me my queen back."

Derek switched the pawn with the queen. "You just got to know when to move each piece. The playing field you're playing isn't very fair. When the queen is most vulnerable..." he started to say, his bishop knocking out the newly re-instated queen. "That's when you strike."

I frowned. "Your metaphors suck. But bloody hell, you can play Wizard's Chess."

Derek smirked. "I'll take that as an insult and a compliment I guess. But..." he started to say.

I looked down at the chessboard. Bloody hell.

"Checkmate, mate," said Derek, grinning. "You know what that means!"

Grumbling, I reluctantly got up. "I know, I know! I'm going to get you your prize money and book! Don't be so pushy!" I exclaimed.

The last thing I heard was Derek's laughing as I waded through the chairs in the Common Room. Derek needed to stop being so good at chess (and losing his stuff)... I was losing my Galleons, Sickles, and pride!

**Moral of the story: **Never challenge Derek to a Wizard's Chess game unless you're just playing for fun. Even then, you're not going to win. Ever.

There's also a sort of betting to tease my younger siblings… and occasionally Rose. I usually receive a nice scarlet envelope though, so I try to spare Rose during my lack of entertainment. Seeing Featherby isn't a good sign.

"Hey Lily!" I exclaimed, watching her skip through the Common Room. "I bet you can't break up Rose and Scorpius."

Lily sighed. "Absolutely not, James. I'm not furthering your own agendas because you can't yourself," she started to say. "And don't even go after Albus because he won't either."

"_Lily_, you're my sister!" I whined, pouting.

"_James_, you're my older brother. Get over it," she replied. "And besides, betting on things all the time is not healthy. I could name all the bets you've made and how they turned out."

"Oh really? Go on, name 'em," I snapped back.

"The Butterbeer incident for starters--"

"Who told you about that?"

"Lauren did. Now, let me finish. The times you bet on the House Cups, the one for the Triwizard, who was going to punch Scorpius first… even though Rose and Scorpius weren't even dating then, the time you tricked Albus in Quidditch--"

"Hey, hey! That wasn't a bet!"

"The point _is_ that betting isn't a good thing. You're spending your Galleons on stupid bets. And you suck us into it as well," Lily finished.

"Not really," I shrugged.

She shook her head. "You're impossible, James. Can I go back to hanging out with Cass now?" she asked.

"Absolutely not, Lily."

"I bet you can't catch me!"

With that, my sister bolted for the portrait hole. The realization hit me a second later, and I chased after her.

"_Lily_!" I called after her.

"Too late, you've already lost the bet," Lily shouted up at me, grinning.

The staircase had changed as I approached it. Lily was on her merry way toward the dungeons.

"Was this supposed to teach me a lesson?" I cried out, to no one in particular. I think so.

**Moral of the story: **Little sisters can be clever at times. And fast. But I do not have a problem with betting!

_Not_ betting will save you in the long run… really.


	14. Marauders' Map

Chapter 14: Marauders' Map

The summer between my first and second year at Hogwarts proved to be rather dull. Albus and Lily were nine and seven, respectively. They showed little interest in Quidditch then. It turns out that all they wanted to do was to hear stories about the legendary school of Hogwarts.

My siblings were always captivated by the convoluted tales and silly professors I told them about. Ginny was so impressed that she made me stay on bedtime story duty, much to Albus' insistence on being too old.

One night, after everyone in the Potter household had gone to bed, I found myself particularly bored. To remedy this, I snuck into my father's office. He kept books, a desk and chair, and Auror business there. The drawers were locked, and as I was not allowed to use magic, had to open them the old-fashioned way.

I gently plucked one of the books off the shelf, making sure to avoid the screaming one. I opened the book to reveal a false page with a key trapped inside. It was interesting to be able to trick my father, of all people!

The key didn't turn inside the top drawer. The next drawer held the same result. However, the bottom drawer made a glorious clicking noise. I was in!

There were old newspapers for the Daily Prophet (some about Voldemort, the Death Eaters, and Sirius Black), moving pictures of my grandparents and the Order, and a curious-looking piece of folded parchment. I placed the other delicate items back in the drawer and kept the parchment in my hands. Locking the drawer again, I made sure to place the key and book back in its rightful place.

I waited until I got into my room to further examine it. _The Marauders' Map_.

Of course! The famous map that popped up in many of Harry's anecdotes! The only thing _was_, was that I had forgotten the incantation to make it work. After a few unsuccessful tries and insults, I tucked the map away in one of my own drawers and forgot about it for the summer.

I wasn't about to ask Harry or Ginny how to activate it -- they'd know something was up. I probably wasn't allowed to touch it, Merlin forbid. I wasn't about to ask Albus or Lily, who would most likely run off and tell our parents.

**Moral of the story: **Never hide a key in such an obvious place. If it's protecting valuable items, why subject it to a kid's curiosity? Also, younger siblings are always going to get the eldest punished in some way. Even _if _you tell them funny stories about the old bat…

For my second year at Hogwarts, I stashed the Marauders' Map among my belongings. I didn't exactly know why -- I wasn't very interested in using it. Merlin knew if I would ever know the proper incantation!

The time would come later that day when we were unpacking our things in our room. Derek, finishing early, decided to bother me during the chore. When I took out the Marauders' Map, his eyes grew to the size of Galleons.

"Your father gave you _this_?" he exclaimed, completely enthralled. "Have you seen it yet?"

"No," I replied, uninterested. "I don't even know how to activate it."

Derek stared at me in disbelief. "You're the son of Harry Potter and you don't even know how to activate it?" he said, shocked. "_I_ even know!"

I gave him a sour look. "I take it for granted sometimes," I replied. "Go on, say the incantation."

Derek looked extremely pleased. He placed his wand over the parchment before he spilled the correct words. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said, with a triumphant expression. The map activated as expected.

"This is _so_ cool!" Derek exclaimed, spreading out the map in its entirety. "You can actually see everyone and what they're doing!"

As Derek was fangirling over the Marauders' Map, I observed the various people mentioned. McGonagall was in her office, per usual. Hagrid was in his hut, Professor Longbottom was in the greenhouses, and the Prefects were wandering around the corridors. I suppose, virtually, everyone could be listed on the map. Even ourselves.

Derek's internal gears were turning. "Imagine the trouble we could avoid with this! We could avoid Tuesley altogether! This is fantastic," he said. I didn't share the same enthusiasm. Well, I did wish to slip under her Gryffindor Prefect's nose. She was not kind, especially to Derek and I.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. "I think we should use it in case of emergencies only."

"It's yours," he replied, handing me back the map. "I bet emergencies include spying on Lauren DiGiacomo whenever you want."

I frowned, scanning the map. She wasn't listed at the time. "Absolutely not," I replied. "Real emergencies, Derek. Now, how do you close it?"

He looked a bit smug. "Mischief managed!" he announced, successfully deactivating it. "Too bad you didn't bring the Half-Blood Prince's book in addition. That would have been even more useful."

"I'm surprised, being the 'Harry Potter' expert you are, you didn't know the book was destroyed almost twenty years ago," I replied.

"In the Room of Requirement? Pity," he said, shaking his head.

It was almost scary to think how much Derek knew versus Lauren, who could give a newt's tail about my famous lineage. At least I didn't have to ask my family about the Marauders' Map… they still didn't know it was missing. Hopefully.

**Moral of the story:** The Marauders' Map should only be used in times of true emergencies. Stalking people is a bit creepy, but it's ideal to avoid Prefects on their rounds. Anything to avoid detention is _definitely _ideal. Avoiding McGonagall is helpful too, especially if you skip class. I'm not advocating any of this, by the way. This is my disclaimer.

It almost bothered me the way Lauren didn't know anything about the generation before her, especially when I craved attention. Not even her insults daunted me from making advances on her. Our relationship was built on hate and mutual arrogance.

Later on at Hogwarts, I started using the map to spy on Rose and Lily. I needed the comfort that they were not dating anyone. However, as much as Rose insisted that they were 'just friends', Rose and Scorpius hung out far too much. I would know. It was a true emergency to use the map, honestly!

I neared the pitch, which had been the last known location of the two. But I soon found the map out of my possession.

"What's this, Potter?" Lauren asked, stretching out the map. "I would have never thought that I'd see you reading something outside of class."

"Give it back, Lauren," I said, frowning. She wasn't treating the map well. "I love you and all, but I _may_ be forced to kiss you if you don't give it back."

She froze. "Where?" she asked, horrified.

"Where else? The lips, of course," I replied, as if it was the most obvious thing.

Lauren threw the map back at me. "I don't want your creepy map anyway," she replied, obstinately.

"It's called the Marauders' Map, by the way," I said, offended. "It shows everyone at Hogwarts and their location."

"What were you doing with it?"

"Making sure that Rose and Scorpius weren't involved in something romantic."

"Everyone knows that they're just friends, Potter."

"It can also give me an excuse so I can punch Scorpius."

"How charming."

"It's all part of my appeal, babe."

"What else do you use the map for?"

"To spy on you to see if you hang out with any Slytherin gits."

"This conversation is over."

"Bye! Bother you some more tomorrow!"

I waved to her as she gave me a disgusted look. Our classes nearly always overlapped anyway. Her breaking point was nearing, I could tell…

**Moral of the story:** The Marauders' Map can both be creepy and helpful. Sure, spying on people is kind of rude. But it's helpful when I have to go protect my younger family members. Rose and Scorpius can evade me no longer!

Rose, on multiple occasions, tried to nick the map from under my nose. I think she was jealous, after all, since it belonged to the Potters solely. And I'm sure she didn't like the news of her Slytherin 'friend' being ambushed by her older cousin in the near future.

"Give _me_ the map, James!" Rose said angrily, as I held it just outside her reach. "I'm not amused!"

"Neither am I," I replied, seriously. "You told me that Scorpius was just your friend!"

"He _is_, you twit. But that little brain of yours won't comprehend it, or allow it at all."

"You've hung out every day for the past two weeks… not in the library."

"YOU'VE SPIED ON US?"

"A couple times."

"You're insane! Am I not allowed to live my own life?"

"Go find some friends in Ravenclaw or something!"

Rose looked like she was about to explode. "Don't… say… anything…" she hissed at me.

I realized at that moment that I was not so dissimilar from my father -- a Potter spying on a Malfoy. I had not intended to use it so frequently, especially with the disinterest I had acquired with the first encounter.

"Having a cousin to cousin chat? How lovely," Scorpius commented, in a sickeningly sweet tone. It reminded me of all Slytherins. He arrived just in time for the better part of the argument.

"Yes, I had to settle something with James," she replied, shooting me a look.

"Well," I interrupted. "Why don't you have a cousin to cousin chat of your own?"

Scorpius shook his head. "What, with Zabini? Haven't seen him lately. I heard he's been off with a Potter, however," he replied, smirking.

He was doing this to rile me up. It wasn't going to work!

"James, Scorpius and I are going to study for our Potions exam in the library. You can verify it later if you need to," Rose said, filling in to replace the silence.

"Well, make the most of it," I replied, letting the issue go.

But as I continue deviating, the real point was what I did with the Marauders' Map before I left Hogwarts.

Derek sighed as I deactivated the map for the last time. It brought back all the good memories of lost times,

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Derek asked me, with the utmost gravity.

I nodded in reply. "I must," I said, folding it neatly. "It must be passed on to continue its legacy."

I didn't need the Marauders' Map to tell where Albus was. Lauren's team was practicing on the pitch to prepare for their upcoming game against Ravenclaw. The practice went on longer than expected, but I got to make mental notes for my own practice. There was no way we were going to lose this year.

Ignoring Lauren for the time being, I caught up to Albus. "Oi, Al!"

"What is it, James?"

"I have a present for you."

Handing him the map, I wasn't sure how he'd react. Would he tattle on me after six years of possessing it?

"You stole it out of dad's desk?" Albus replied, incredulously.

"Yeah, like, a while ago. I've got some use out of it. Now I'm giving it to you, and maybe it'll work for you," I said, shrugging.

Albus took it with gratitude. "I won't tell dad, although I can't promise that Lily won't," he replied.

"It's not a problem; she'll be six years too late."

"You did not!"

"You don't know a lot, Al. It's better that way."

"Okay, well… thanks."

I was extremely pleased with myself. After all, it wasn't often I'd give something so rare to one of my siblings. Sort of. My advice was so rare and astute that it was only placed in this guide. Glad I wrote this, huh?

"Don't spy on people with it, or stalk them," I warned him.

"That was the first thing that came to my mind, James," Albus replied, rolling his eyes. "I'll take good care of it."

**Moral of the story: **Do pass down items of inheritance, even if they don't belong to you. There will always be a need for the Marauders' Map. (To-spy-on-Rose-and-Scorpius-of-course-cough.)


	15. Namesakes

_**Author's Note:**_

Eep. I'm bad at updating. To make up for it, I'm posting a chapter tomorrow as well. It has to do with Hogsmeade and introduces a new OC, perhaps for Derek. (;

It's queued up and ready to go for tomorrow. Hopefully you enjoy this next chapter - it explains the names better, although in James' POV.

~Loligo7687

* * *

Chapter 15: Namesakes

It's not so much the name as the connotation it holds. Whether it's positive or negative, it will follow you for a long time. Try as you might, you may never rid of it.

For example, I'll list some of the names I've been called over the years.

1. Potter  
2. Mr. Potter  
3. Hey you  
4. –insert curse word-  
5. Jamesy

My personal preference, however, is James Sirius Potter the second. A mouthful you say? Get over it.

Is there anything else I can add to this chapter? Probably not. Instead, I'll explain the names we have and how they originated. By that I mean make fun of them, except for mine.

**JAMES SIRIUS POTTER II**:

This is the best name by far. Siriusly (oh, that pun!). I was named after my grandfather and my father's godfather. Hence, James Sirius. Best of all, I'm a Potter. The fame has gone to my head.

I don't think it's too sappy or clichéd. It pays tribute to the men who died too prematurely at the hands of Voldemort and his followers. But according to McGonagall, my personality matches the name well. I think I'm flattered.

Let see the past examples of my very important name:

_"Uh, excuse me. Do you know who I am?" he asked._

_Oh great, the kid had a title?_

_"You're the annoying toad who is holding up the traffic in the aisles. You're also the pathetic moron who was about to hold me back from getting in a compartment that is open to the public," Lauren replied coolly with a plastic smile._

_"I'm James Potter," the boy said. Quickly he blinked a few times, as if remembering something he'd forgotten. "The second," he added quickly (as if it mattered to her)._

_"Oh, so we're introducing ourselves? In that case, I'm Lauren DiGiacomo," she said in a sickeningly sweet tone. "The one and only." She added in the same quick manner James did, though she was clearly sarcastic._

-x-

_"JAMES SIRIUS POTTER THE SECOND!" she roared, announcing my full name to the hall. As if they hadn't heard me say it a billion times before - Lauren was always pointing out how annoying it was when I introduced/referred myself as my full name._

-x-

_"Unbelievable! We're definitely through, James Sirius Potter!"_

_With that, she stormed off into the opposite direction. "The second!" I called after her, which didn't help the situation._

-x-

_"JAMES SIRIUS POTTER!" she yelled._

_"The second," I pointed out._

-x-

_"Potter, James," McGonagall announced, looking above her glasses to see me._

_"Present," I said, and the students turned to stare at me. "By the way, Minny, I'm James _Sirius_ Potter _the second_."_

-x-

_The boy stuck out his hand. "I'm Derek Ackart," he said, as I shook it back._

_"Nice to meet you I guess."_

_"Don't expect me to call you by your full name every time I address you."_

-x-

_"Potter-"_

_"James Sirius Potter the second, please."_

_"You get James, and only James."_

_"Continue."_

**ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER**:

The more uniquely named of the three of us, but it's given me a reason to tease him. Both names are for the two previous Headmasters of Hogwarts - Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape - but he also goes by 'Al' for short. I used to tease him all the time by mentioning that the latter was a Slytherin and his initials spelled out a type of snake. But it didn't really matter as he was Sorted into Slytherin anyway.

He also looks exactly like my dad, which actually gave McGonagall quite a fright the first time she saw him.

"Potter, Albus," McGonagall announced, making me snap my attention back to the Sorting Hat. My brother approached the pedestal from his spot in the huddled First Year crowd.

McGonagall clutched her chest. "Oh dear, I thought you were your father for a second," she said, dropping the parchment in her other hand. "He looked the same at your age."

Albus shrugged. "I get that a lot. At least nobody can confuse our names," he replied.

McGonagall picked the Sorting Hat up and placed it on Albus' head. "You've got a powerful name, Albus Severus Potter. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise," she said.

I felt like it was directed toward me, indirectly.

**LILY LUNA POTTER**:

The youngest and only sister of Albus and I. She's more like Ginny though, in most ways. Her name comes from our grandmother, Lily, and our parents' friend, Luna. Luna Scamander (née Lovegood) was friends with my parents when they attended Hogwarts. We've since found out that she's a bit on the strange side, and her children seem to have inherited that too. Lorcan and Lysander would often come over for play dates.

"What pretty alliteration! Lily, Lorcan, and Lysander!" Lily exclaimed, during one such play date.

"What about it?" I asked, stopping by the room.

"Your name doesn't have it," Lily said, sticking out her tongue.

"Of course it does! Like James and Ginny?" I returned.

"'Ginny' starts with a 'G' and besides, she's mum to you," Lily returned, just as quickly.

"I swear, you are _exactly_ like her," I replied, groaning.

**ROSE AND HUGO WEASLEY**:

Ah, the Weasleys. The names have to seem to come out of thin air, as opposed to the Potters. Hugo's middle name is Arthur, from our grandfather. It somehow works. As for Rose, I haven't a clue. She won't tell me, and for good reason. I told her I would get it out of her by the time I graduated. The rest of the cousins and siblings are on her side.

I began questioning Rose one day. "So why are you named Rose?" I asked.

She pursed her lips. "Don't bother, James," she replied.

"This is for correct and nostalgia purposes," I started. "Unless you want me to tell my version?"

"I'd like to hear it."

"Fine. Probably because you're such a thorn in my side."

"_You're_ a thorn in my side."

"No."

"Yes."

"It seems we are at an impasse."

Rose folded her arms over her chest. "Rose is a flowery and pretty name. You haven't bullied Lily over this, so why me?" she asked.

"You haven't told me your middle name," I said, flatly.

"Keep dreaming," Rose replied, walking away.

"I'll discover it someday!" I called after her.

**SCORPIUS HYPERION MALFOY AND CASSIOPEIA ZABINI**:

The Slytherins. They both happen to be cousins as well, sharing a Greengrass relative. Most of this information came from other sources, as I was not going to ask them myself.

Malfoy and Zabini are automatic bad surnames. Scorpius, Hyperion, and Cassiopeia are supposedly all stars. Or something like that. I don't know the latter's middle name either.

Note: Guess I'll just have to wait until their later chapter. Oh yes, they'll all have a chapter, including Lauren and the rest. You'll encounter people like them, and should avoid at all costs. Maybe just the Slytherins.

Anyway, the first encounter with Scorpius has got to be mentioned. Just to prove that my dislike for Scorpius is justified.

My parents told me to watch Albus and Rose on the train there, during their first year. Neglecting to find Derek, I figured that he'd come find us. So the three of us found an empty compartment and sat.

"Rose, why do you have your robes on?" I asked.

"Why don't you have yours on?" she replied.

"It's too bloody early, that's why," I returned.

"Don't swear," Albus said. "You started it."

Rose nodded. "Can't we have decent conversation sometimes?" she asked.

A knock on the door interrupted us. "Too late," I commented.

It wasn't Derek. Instead, a blonde haired kid opened the door to the compartment. He was unmistakably a Malfoy.

"Looks like I've found the Potters and Weasley compartment," he commented, slyly.

"The Malfoy found us," I replied.

"Scorpius Malfoy, if you please," he said. "You must be James."

"James Sirius Potter the second," I added.

He ignored it. "Albus and Rose, I believe," he continued. "I've heard all about you two especially."

"You're right," Albus said. "It wouldn't be fair to say that we haven't heard all about you either."

"In fact…" I started, silenced by Rose's glare.

Rose spoke up. "We're happy to meet you, Scorpius. Care to join us?" she asked, and I shot her a look this time.

He shook his head. "I'm afraid I've got a seat already. But I'll see you both at the ceremony," Scorpius replied.

Scorpius left without another word.

"Way to go, James," Rose said, huffing. "You scared him away."

"Potters and Weasleys don't mix with Malfoys, Rose," I said.

"Just shut up, James," she replied.

**DEREK MATTHEW ACKART, LAUREN PAIGE** **DIGIACOMO, OLIVIA BONES, AND VEGA MADISON DERING**:

Derek seems to be rather random as well. His father's name is Matthew. As for the rest, see the previous note above.

**Moral of the story: **What's in a name?

Some names are worse than others. Ultimately, the blame can be placed on the parents. Nicknames are fair game.

And you can't hide your middle name forever. _Rose_.


	16. Hogsmeade

**_Author's Note:_**

As promised! I decided to do the role playing style for the beginning of the chapter (James/Derek is me; Shinja plays Sophie). Sophie Moore is the newest OC, as Shinja did not like the prospect of Derek sneaking off with a French bird. Oh la la! But James is not entirely happy.

D'Arvit belongs to Eoin Colfer. Enjoy!

~Loligo7687

**_Author's Note_ (5/15/11):**

The POV issue here was due to laziness on my part. I wanted to keep a role playing sample in the chapter but I decided I didn't want to change it to first-person. Plus, Derek wouldn't be too happy if James had embellished the story. ;D James' POV is first, then Sophie's, and so on.

~Lucy

* * *

Chapter 16 - Hogsmeade

Hogsmeade is the all Wizarding village outside of Hogwarts, accessible to Third Years and above. Parental permission is required, though McGonagall would like to "lose" some of our slips conveniently. Of course, the best of behaviors is required on such weekends.

Not for Derek and I. As for my Slytherin enemies, they ignore the rules as well. Civility is forced and cruel.

First, I'll start out with a story about a failed pranking in Hogsmeade during our sixth year at Hogwarts. Again, I've got a sensitive friend and must keep the POV neutral, but not _too _neutral. Here goes:

It was like any other weekend at Hogsmeade - it was cold, being November, and snow had already begun to cover the grounds. It was not enough to stir up trouble - James and Derek had already attempted to do so - but made it perfectly clear why they loved Hogwarts. Despite the work, of course. And McGonagall. So this weekend was one of relaxation and Galleon spending, preferably at The Three Broomsticks. There would be no drinking contests in their sixth year.

The warmth of the pub hit them in the faces, instantly melting the cold off their cheeks. James and Derek selected a table, away from the Slytherins gossiping in one of the corners.

Derek took a sip of his Butterbeer first. "Since there's no way we're doing our Potions essay now, what's the main highlight of the day?" he asked.

James shrugged. "I dunno, what do you want to do? Albus and Vega are out of commission," he replied.

"I'm not going to bother and ask," Derek started. "Why don't we prank your cousin? They're bound to be around here somewhere. And we haven't had a good one lately."

Conceding to the idea, James grinned. "I'm all for that, Derek."

They finished their Butterbeers, taking their time. Merlin knew if the two were here anyway. But they were because they always went. James would know.

They staked the outside of the pub, throwing ideas at each other. James suggested that the large, teetering pile upon the roof would be extremely humorous. It was agreed upon.

They waited, despite the cold. Derek spotted the bushy-haired girl and her Slytherin friend first. The pair neared the pub.

"Alright, we'll jinx the pile on my count of three. They'll be the first entering The Three Broomsticks," James said, spearheading the execution of the prank. "It's flawless."

It was flawed, however. James motioned for the count of three.

"One... two... three!"

Derek and James simultaneously flicked their wands at the pile of snow, causing it to shake and fall on their counterparts.

James also spearheaded the laughter, but Derek wasn't laughing.

"James!" he exclaimed, shaking his friend feverously. "Rose and Scorpius are over there!"

Derek pointed to the pair going into the adjacent shop. He looked rather nervous.

"D'Arvit!" James cursed. "Who'd we get?"

The victim was still covered from the snow ambush. Oops.

-x-

The chilly November day had been one of adventure for Sophie Moore. She had woken up bright and early to prepare for a day in Hogsmeade, excited just to get out of the stuffy castle and explore. She managed to style her usually-messy blonde hair, allowing it to fall down past her shoulders. She dressed in a long-sleeved blue shirt, dark jeans and a snug gray jacket lined with faux fur, then made sure she wrapped her yellow and black Hufflepuff scarf snuggly around her neck. She added a small yellow bow to her hair and applied a light amount of mascara before skipping happily out of the common room.

She was a bit surprised at how cold it was outside, though embraced the day with a smile. She greeted those who were already outside, asking about where they were staying for the holidays and such. Sophie knew she would most likely be going back home to spend Christmas with her grandparents. She had grown up without her parents in her life and by now she was used to it.

By the time she made it to the small Wizarding village, she was bitterly cold and ready to indulge in a Butterbeer or two. Then she'd go off to Honeydukes to purchase some flavored beans and take a trip to the Shrieking Shack just for the thrill of going. She was of the faint of heart and most of her friends thought she wouldn't be able to brave the shack alone. However, she was determined to prove them wrong.

Seeing The Three Broomsticks ahead of her, she was about ready to open the door and enter before she was pushed to the ground by a huge pile of snow. The shock seemed to have her speechless and for a moment she was unable to see anything but white. Sticking her head up and slowly standing, she brushed herself off and frowned deeply, still confused. She then cracked a small grin and let out a laugh, unable to control her giggling. "Brilliant!" she laughed, looking around for who launched the prank. "Absolutely hysterical!"

-x-

"I feel even stupider now," James commented, hearing the girl's laughter echoing around them. "She's _actually_ laughing! Unbelievable!"

Derek was still sort of shell-shocked. James had to wave a hand in front of his face.

"Are you alive, Derek? Blink an eye, or something!" James said, and he seemingly reanimated himself.

"That's awfully strange, I agree," Derek said at last. "Well, besides Vega. Most of the girls end up crying or something."

"My point exactly, so let's high tail it out of here," James said, urgently. "She won't know it was us!"

James was ready to murder him when he stepped out from their protection and out in the open where the girl could see them. He debated whether or not to follow him.

Derek was compelled to stay and make himself known. After all, it wasn't everyday you met a girl who laughed when you either mistakenly or purposely pranked her. Maybe she had a knack for pranking herself, despite belonging to a House other than Gryffindor!

He noticed the yellow and black scarf around her neck, immediately marking her as a Hufflepuff. It was probably a good thing that they hadn't been previously acquainted.

"Well, we aim to please," Derek said aloud, noticing that James had not followed him. "Though it appears to seem we have mistaken you for another."

Derek stuck out his hand to offer her help up, for all they had put her through. He suddenly was aware that they were making eye contact.

"I'm Derek, by the way. Derek Ackart. I'm from Gryffindor," he added, knowing that his mother would not condone him for being rude.

-x-

Sophie was well-aware that there would be some major prank-pulling today; even though she would never have guts of her own to actually execute one, it was still exciting to watch (even though she felt pity for the person who was on the opposite end of the trick most of the time). She secretly wished she was that clever and that funny to pull one off...so since she was lacking in that area of expertise, she ended up admiring those who had the natural ability to be jokesters.

The prank seemed to be light-hearted and fun...so it wasn't a Slytherin prank. Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws scarcely ever engaged in that type of behavior, so now all she was focusing on were the two Gryffindors she had noticed on her walk up; James Potter and Derek Ackart. She had never really interacted with either of the school legends before and she was still unsure if she was ready to; after all, were they really as arrogant and rude as everyone made them out to be?

Biting down on her bottom lip her blue eyes honed in on Derek, offering him a shy smile and a wave. "That was really funny; thanks," she said with a laugh.

After a few moments of perfected eyelash-batting she entered The Three Broomsticks, finding a small booth off in the back. She ordered a Butterbeer and paid quickly, hoping that in turn the drink would return with speed. She needed to defrost her nose and ears; as well as her toes and cheeks.

Her mind wandered briefly back to Derek and James as her beverage arrived and she drank slowly, trying to treasure every last drop of warmth that soon consumed her body.

-x-

Derek was still in an awkward state of bewilderment and awe; James was truly concerned for him. He appeared momentarily.

"What, you admire her or something?" James said, harshly. "I think we have some bigger fish to fry, so to speak."

But Derek was ignoring James now, his internal gears clocking at maximum speed. James grew impatient and huffed in annoyance.

"I'll see you later, James," Derek said at last, retreating back to the warm pub. James gawked at his audacity to leave him in the snow, but Derek was bent on accomplishing this current mission.

Seriously, what was so great about a Hufflepuff?

**Moral of the story: **Pranking should not be attempted in Hogsmeade. There are far too many people about on the weekends, and the chances of the intended target being hit are slim. As demonstrated, of course. But as my failed first impression went with Vega, Derek ended up making a friend. Well, we were friends too, but I had to warm up to her. She did want to learn the ways of pranking, so that was fine.

Since the majority of the trips seem to end up during the snowy weather, one must be vigilant for ice and snowballs. The cold can get you too, but a trip to the Three Broomsticks should cure that. But what else can you do there?

What to Do in Hogsmeade:

1. Order a Butterbeer

2. Go Christmas shopping

3. Pick up school supplies

4. Go buy clothes

5. Visit the tea shop

6. Visit the sketchy shop, The Hog's Head (it hasn't improved much.)

7. And loads of other things

Revisiting the wonderful past, there seem to be an abundance of Butterbeer drinking contests (13), snowball attacks (12), venting, ranting, and swearing (5), forced shopping for the holidays (10), and encounters of various Slytherins and friends.

For example:

"What are you going to buy me for Christmas?" Lauren asked one day, as we took a stroll around the snowy grounds.

I kept my composure calm. "You'll see. Otherwise it wouldn't be a surprise or a present," I said, smoothly.

She smiled. "Well, I've already gotten yours," she replied.

"Well, I haven't," I mumbled. "That's great!"

"Good, 'cause we'll be swapping gifts that morning."

"I hope we'll be able to do more than swap gifts."

"Like what?"

"Swap spit too."

Lauren laughed. "How did I know you'd say something so immature?" she said.

"You must know me very well then," I replied.

After Lauren left my company, I had to make an emergency trip into Hogsmeade to buy her a gift. Yeah, three days before Christmas is not ideal to forget presents and sneak into Hogsmeade.

I went into a jewelry shop. "Do you have any rings?" I asked.

The cashier opened a box full of them. "Special occasion?" she inquired.

"Engagement," I said, nonchalantly. Nice cover, as I was not supposed to be in Hogsmeade at that time.

"Our minimum price is a thousand Galleons," she said.

"Engagement is off!" I exclaimed, disgusted. "Do you have any necklaces instead?"

I took an hour to decide on a necklace for Lauren. It was gold with an emerald jewel, which cost a pretty Galleon.

"Do you love it, or do you love it?" I said, on Christmas morning.

"Of course!" she said, squealing with delight. "I must try it on."

I gloated in silence. "What about the other swapping, Lauren?" I asked.

"Sure. I guess you deserve it after all," she smiled, leaning in to kiss me.

I won't bore you with the details, but it was pretty great if you ask me.

**Moral of the story: **Even if you forget about Christmas gifts, that's okay. That's why Hogsmeade is there! (And for Firewhiskey, of course.)


	17. Studying

_**Author's Note:**_

Next chapter: more Sophie, and definitely some James/Lauren tension. Yay!

Take these study tips to heart? I dunno! We shall see, I suppose.

~Loligo7687

* * *

Chapter 17 - Studying

One sad truth of life: studying makes you successful. However, there are varying degrees of studying. You could study like Rose and Vega and have a limited social life, or you could study like Derek and I and have time to do anything your heart desires.

What's more annoying than Scorpius Malfoy? Studying. That says a lot, believe me. One place you won't find me is in the library. Can you believe you have to keep your voice down? Ridiculous. How can anyone stand that?

Now, now, don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating not studying. I'm merely warning you of the consequences. Again, just look at Rose and Vega.

**Study tip:** Never study alone. Study in pairs or groups. For Merlin's sake.

Most of the time, I want to go insane when I study by myself in the Common Room or dormitory. Plus it's better to bounce ideas off of others to help come up with ideas for essays and upcoming tests. Derek and I tend to fail though, as we suddenly get bored half-way through and ditch it for more entertaining plans.

So what? I still get As and the occasional T in the harder classes. In Herbology I have an O. Don't tell me I'm not smart.

But then there's Rose and Vega, who burst into tears if they should so receive an E on an essay or test. Good Merlin. I burst into tears whenever I get over an A in Divination - tears of joy, mind you.

One day in my fifth year I received this letter (not a Howler, letter) from Ginny:

_Dear James,_

_I hope the school year has been wonderful so far. As you know, your OWLS are coming up quickly and they are very important. Headmistress McGonagall tells me that you should try and do well in Potions, Herbology, Astronomy, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. She also told me that your marks have been less than satisfactory…_

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?" I yelled.

"Stop swearing, James," Lily said at once, from four or five seats away from me. "Has Mum said anything about me?"

Derek grabbed some toast. "At least it's not a Howler," he shrugged.

"It's worse than one," I groaned.

…_so we've decided that you should study with your cousin Rose twice a week until you take your OWLS…_

"Oh my Merlin," I said. "I have to study with Rose."

Derek laughed. He didn't stop laughing either. "Shut it, Derek," I growled, continuing to read on.

…_but I know you'll do great, honey. Your father and I love you. I'll send another letter soon._

_Love,_

_Mom_

"There's a post script at the bottom," Derek imputed.

I read aloud. "Tell your brother and sister we said hello. We're proud of her marks thus far."

"Maybe it'll only cut into an hour of your day," Derek suggested. "I mean, how bad can it really be?"

"It's _Rose_, Rose Weasley we're talking about. It's her way or the highway. Believe me, I don't know how we're going to get through the study lesson," I replied.

"Well, you better think of something quick," he replied, motioning behind me. I turned around.

"What's the meaning of this?" Rose asked, holding a letter in her hand.

I shrugged. "I dunno! I was surprised and horrified when I got my copy," I replied.

She frowned. "What does yours say?" she asked.

"Oh, just that McGonagall has been telling my parents that I have horrible marks and that you need to tutor me."

"Show me the letter."

I handed it to her. Rose read through it twice. "Lily, Aunt Ginny says hello and that you're doing well in your classes," she said at last.

"Thanks, Rose," Lily said, shooting me a look.

"It's only twice a week," Rose sighed. "And I think an hour should suffice each meeting. I have a life too."

I coughed. Rose threw the letter back at me. "Library, Wednesday, at seven," she said, before storming away.

"You sure know how to keep your family liking you," Derek commented. "But you do realize that you can't make that study session?"

"I know," I said, pretending to be dejected. "The OWLS are in like what, four months or something? I don't need to start right away."

**Study tip: **DON'T PROCRASTINATE. Or ignore your mother.

After a late night on Wednesday, I was falling asleep in the Great Hall. Not even breakfast could tempt me awake.

"James is in troubleeeeeee!" Lily said, giggling.

"Say what?" I replied, bemused.

"Alistair has something scarlet for you," Hugo chimed in.

"WHAT?" I shouted.

My owl dropped it in front of me. A Howler over the fact that I had ditched Rose in the library? I think my cousin wasn't too disappointed, really.

"JAMES SIRIUS POTTER THE SECOND!" it yelled, after I broke the seal.

"Correct," I pointed out.

Now I really don't have to go into the details of Ginny's Howler, since she forced me to attend these study sessions with 'gentle' persuasion tactics. Don't ignore Ginny. Merlin. And… don't ditch study sessions.

So I attended these sessions, having Rose quiz me in different subjects I needed work in. Albus and Vega would sometimes join, even though they just had homework in their third and second year classes. Derek was the smart one, staying away from the library.

"How many planets are there?"

"Nine."

"What are the phases of the moon?"

"New Moon, Waxing Crescent, First Quarter, Waxing Gibbous, Full Moon, Waning Gibbous, Third Quarter, and Waning Crescent."

"What is a meteor shower?"

"What we see as white streaks in the atmosphere is actually debris falling and burning up through the atmosphere from comets that pass near the Earth."

"Good."

Rose packed up her books. "Well-done, James. I think you're quite ready for your OWLS next week. Good luck," she added.

I tried to push my pride aside. "Uh, thanks Rose! Look, I know I'm such a prat sometimes, but I really do appreciate you taking time to help me study," I replied.

She smiled. "I know," she said, skipping out of the library.

I shook my head. Girls.

**Study tip: **Take small breaks between subjects, but make sure that they aren't _too _long.

"Damn it, Derek, we were supposed to be studying for Divination three hours ago!"

"It's your fault for suggesting that we should rearrange the Common Room furniture, James!"

**Study tip: **Gryffindors and Slytherins never make good studying partners.

In the spring of our seventh year, I decided that it would be a good idea to study for our respective NEWTS classes on the grounds with Lauren and Derek. And I don't know about you, but I hope you've gathered that Lauren and Derek do _not_ get along. Whatsoever. I don't know why. They just hate each other. Yet, they do have tolerance for the other.

This particular afternoon I was studying for my Herbology NEWTS. I had to know plants, properties, uses, potions, you know, that kind of stuff. Derek was less than interested in that, so he was partaking in Astronomy. Lauren was studying Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"I wonder if I could teach my Patronus to deliver messages. It would be useful if I became an Auror," Lauren said aloud, flipping through the pages of her textbook.

"Don't be silly," Derek said. "Everybody knows that Slytherins can't produce Patronuses."

"What did you just say, Ackart?" Lauren seethed, looking up.

"You heard me, DiGiacomo," Derek replied, not backing down.

"You take that back!"

"Absolutely not!"

I was already used to this. No need to look up. Boy, was I wrong. Never ever get in between a fight between them as it's best to stay neutral.

"James!" Lauren yelled, impatiently.

"What?" I said, annoyed.

"You're going to let your friend insult me like that?"

"The last six and a half years, I believe, you could take care of yourself. Plus, I'm staying neutral. You two work out your differences."

"Take it back, Ackart."

"No way."

Lauren had her wand out in seconds, already catching Derek off-guard. She stood as she cast _Expelliarmus _and sent his wand flying off many feet away.

"I'm warning you, Ackart, you better take that back before I hex you real good."

"I told you no!"

Derek dived toward his wand as Lauren's hex missed him by inches. He countered with a spell of his own, but being the DADA professional she was, Lauren easily blocked it.

"You're going to get it now, you coward!" Lauren yelled.

I don't really know what happened afterward. Derek ran off and Lauren chased him around the grounds. They hadn't come back by the time I finished studying, so I packed up and left for the Common Room. But I was called down to the Hospital Wing shortly after arriving.

"She broke my bloody nose!" Derek complained.

"Trust me, I know the same pain," I said, rolling my eyes. "So, why was I called down here?"

"To settle the issue brought up during our study session," Lauren said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Derek, just apologize for the stupid comment you made, and Lauren, apologize for breaking Derek's nose," I said, sighing.

"I'm sorry," they both grumbled.

"Great, awesome, we're friends again!" I said sarcastically. "And you're taking away from my studying time!"

"Did I hear those words from Mr. Potter?" Madame Pomfrey asked, as she came into the room to heal his nose.

"Surprised, Pomfrey? Me too. I never knew I would ever mature," I replied.

**Study tip: **Choose your study group wisely.

Other than that, everything else is common sense. Go to bed early, eat breakfast, study days before a test, and ask someone or the professor to help you with something you don't understand. Plus, I'll probably add an OWLS and NEWTS section soon just so you can see how intelligent and good-looking I am.

**Moral of the story: **Follow everything in the above chapter. You can always find Ravenclaws to help you.

And the faster you can find a flat!


	18. Apparation Lessons

_**Author's Note:**_

Hi everyone! Here's the deal: I've been extremely busy since the last update, as my sophomore year of college started and I had less time to devote to my stories. However, my finals are finally over and I'm back to update! I'm still aiming for the fifty chapters I had planned out, as James' guide is extremely fun and enjoyable to write. (:

A few things I want to mention:

1. I went back and edited some of the chapters by rewriting parts and clarifying, especially chapters 1, 3, 7, and 16, based on some reviews I went back and read. The majority are due to the role playing/POV switching chapters. Hopefully they help clear up any confusion!

2. Recently, I've discovered a fondness of another Next Generation character through role playing – Roxanne Weasley. When I started out with James' guide, I had stuck with the "main" NG characters because I wasn't sure of the other Weasleys' ages, aside from Victoire and Teddy Lupin. George and Angelina might have waited to have Fred and Roxanne? In the role play, she was the same age as James (yeah, he was taken at the time, ahaha) and I thought it worked pretty well! She's the female version of James in most aspects, like her fondness of pranks due to her father's joke shop, alcohol, and she doesn't do well in school. For this reason I want to include her in the guide here on out. That being said, she won't be prevalent, as she is extremely free-spirited and wouldn't hang out with James and company all that often. She'll see a large chunk in a Pranks-centric chapter, though!

3. Suggestions for future chapters are always welcome; chances are that they're better than my original outline! (:

Thanks for sticking with my story!

~Lucy

* * *

Chapter 18 - Apparation Lessons

Apparation lessons are totally worth the money you pay. Once you get your license, you're basically on your way to freedom and independence. Plus, you can reach destinations in seconds, rather than light-years. Who doesn't like that?

But like magic, it can have serious risks and consequences. Then again, like anything else, _like life_, involve risks and consequences anyway. The only off-putting thing about Apparation is the chance you might splinch yourself – the act of separating a piece or large piece of your body from the rest of it from trying to reach your intended target. Doesn't sound fun, does it? But it rarely happens, because it's usually a hit or miss. You Apparate or you don't. Splinching only occurs when you're unfocused about where you want to Apparate to. Or something along those lines.

Anyway, Derek invited Sophie to attend our weekly Apparation lessons together. By this time, we were quite acquainted, though she didn't exactly meet my standards. She's too damn nice. Even Vega has a spark underneath her reserved personality. Sophie always apologizes when she tries to pull a prank, essentially ruining it. Derek's also become quite defensive of her, especially when I got on my tirades. Not sure what's happening there…

During one of our Apparation lessons, I finally understood what was going on. Derek and Sophie were definitely stringing me along as the third wheel, though unintentionally they claimed. It took a couple weeks, but I got the hint. Whenever I'd ask Derek what we were supposed to be doing, I'd get a shrug and nothing else. So after ignoring most of what the teacher person said about Apparating, I ventured over to a highly condensed group of Slytherin girls. Lauren was smirking, a sure way of covering up her embarrassment and delight from seeing me. Otherwise, that'd be absurd if she didn't want to be wooed in front of all her friends. It was an honor to be wooed by James Sirius Potter the second.

"What are _you_ doing here?" she hissed. "You're going to get us into trouble."

I waved my hand about dismissively. "We're not going to get into trouble. Do you think _he_ wants to be here right now, teaching a bunch of sixteen and seventeen year-olds? No. Absolutely not. And as for your other question, I came over to visit you, dear."

"Meaning that you got kicked out of your friend group."

"I am quite appalled at that accusation. Derek and Sophie were quite sad when I left, but they understood that you were also quite important in my life."

Her left eyebrow went up. "They look pretty happy to me."

We turned to see Sophie whispering into his ear and then giggling softly. They were also holding hands. I was disgusted and exasperated.

"Okay, whatever," I said at once, irritably. "The point is that I wanted to especially see you since the Quidditch season is over and we share fewer classes this term."

"Really, Potter," Lauren replied, rolling her eyes. "I'm just _so_ flattered to be in your presence. Especially when we're supposed to be paying attention so we don't hurt ourselves."

"Just as long as you know the three D's or whatever they're called, you're fine."

"Ten Gallons say that you're going to be in the Hospital Wing first."

"There's no way I can refuse a bet… and after all, I am confident in my ability to Apparate."

"We'll see, Potter. We'll see."

Turns out neither of us won the bet, as we both ended up in the Hospital Wing. Just kidding, neither of us moved an inch. Most people didn't move an inch either. Some of our other peers did better, but not by much. Luckily there were no splinches, as I've heard they're quite painful and disgusting-looking. Maybe the next week would hold better results.

I hung out with Roxanne this time, as she was attempting to get her license as well. She was more motivated than me because it was an easier way to get to Diagon Alley on her own to work at her father's shop. Roxanne had Weasley spirit and loyalty, especially that of her House, Gryffindor. Her looks were inherited from her mother, however. Long, dark brown hair and brown eyes made her standout among the Weasley clan.

Roxanne and I were oddly alike, sharing passions for pranks, parties, and the opposite sex. We didn't hang out much over the years, but when she got a package from the joke shop or a major party invitation popped up, meeting up was inevitable. We got along great.

"So, you've gotten the boot?" Roxanne insinuated. "First Derek and Sophie, then Lauren."

I sulked. "How observant of you."

"Just because you're over here with me."

"I'm not allowed to hang out with you?"

"Just being _observant_."

I appreciated her quips. "Anyway, have you got a package from the joke shop yet? It's been too quiet around here lately."

"S'pose to within the week. I had to wait for a new shipment for the latest craze. It'll be definitely worth it, James."

It sounded promising. "Brilliant. Also, party this weekend. Hufflepuffs are hosting."

This exchange of information fueled our social lives. She beamed at the news. The teacher had been discussing the three D's again, but I was easily distracted by women it seemed. I needed to pine over Lauren and plan another prank with my cousin. When it came to practicing time, Roxanne had me beat half-way through.

Lauren also beat me across the room during this lesson. Her gloating might have bothered me had it not meant that she was actually talking to me. Without that tone of voice she gave me on a regular basis, mind you. Derek and Sophie made significant progress as well. It turned out to be a really simple thing, though I particularly didn't enjoy the short-lived feeling it gave me. But we were all ready for the tests at the end of the month!

**Moral of the story:** Paying attention is slightly important. I mean, you do have to know the motions and concentrate on where you want to go. But other than that, everything they teach you is superfluous. And gloating is also an amazing thing, because splinching yourself is not.

The rivalry between Lauren and I was helpful, rather than harmful. I would probably go as far as declare it a friendly competition. Whoever got their Apparation license would have boasting privileges for the rest of their life. Focusing on passing our tests was the first and foremost thing on our minds. Derek and Sophie were laid back in comparison. They often cast us strange looks from across the room. That's right. I went and visited my lady, like a true gentleman would.

"Nervous, Potter?" Lauren asked.

"Never. You?" I returned. She shook her head.

"Today is the day that determines who gets eternal glory and bragging rights. Also, if I win, you are forbidden to speak to me again."

"Hey! We never settled on such a deal! If that's your terms, then I get to say my own if I win."

Lauren facepalmed. "Dare I ask…"

"You will have to go out on a date with me if you fail the test."

"Knew it, Potter. You would stoop so low."

"Torment at its very finest, I'm sure."

There was a lot at stake. If I splinched myself and failed the Apparation test, I would never get to speak with my beloved Lauren ever again (not that I'd adhere to her demand anyway). But if I focused enough and passed, I'd get that chance to date her after six full years of pining over her elusiveness. We looked at each other with the same thing on our minds: _you'll need all the luck you can get._

The order in which we were tested was determined alphabetically. Derek naturally went first out of everyone, and Lauren shortly thereafter. Sophie and I were at the latter part of the list, along with Roxanne. Despite the lack of privacy in Hogsmeade, individuals were tested apart from the group to eliminate nerves, pressure, and distractions from fellow classmates.

Derek's goofy grin indicated that he had obtained his license. Throughout the list there were smiles and tears indicating the status of everyone's license or lack thereof, but I was mostly interested in Lauren's performance.

It was too hard to tell. Lauren waved a piece of paper in my face. "I passed, Potter, hah! I'd wish you good luck, but of course I want to win our wager."

I grimaced. "Don't get ahead of yourself, dear, I might just prove you wrong."

That's what I set out to do. I strolled over to the instructor when I was called – I still failed to catch his name every time – with a confident gait and smile.

"Apparate over to the red dot in the far distance," he simply said.

_Three D's, right, what the hell were they again? Del-Delib-Del-Delbloody hell oh the Dementors with it, just concentrate._

I found myself standing on the red dot in the distance, looking back at the instructor with a pleased expression on his face.

"You passed!" he yelled.

Returning to the group, I headed for Lauren first to solidify our wager. "I passed, so now you must go out on a date with me!" I shouted.

Lauren shushed me. "_Please_, Potter, we both won the wager. It's obvious we respect the lady's wager."

"No, no, no come now you're just being a sore loser."

"We both won!"

"Then it cancels out, right?"

Derek came into the argument suddenly, followed by Sophie, who was soaking in the news of her brand new license as well. "Nobody won the wager so nobody wins anything and you resume as normal."

"Thanks for the clarification, Ackart," Lauren replied, rolling her eyes.

"Well, that sucks," I commented.

(Roxanne also got her Apparation License.)

**Moral of the story:** With practice and determination, anything is possible. If James Sirius Potter the second can obtain his Apparation License, then anyone can. With this new magic tool, I can abuse it at home all I want to annoy Ginny and my siblings. Do get your Apparation License!


	19. Hospital Wing

_**Author's Note:**_

I really do miss writing as James!

Lauren, Albus, Lily, Roxanne, and Derek are big players, as well as Madame Pomfrey herself. Hangover remedies, brotherly tension, and slight wooing abound in this chapter. In the near future, James is going to be talking about a person dear to him, some classes including DADA, ghosts, and the chapter I've been wanting to write for years now. ;3

Hope you enjoy!  
~Lucy

* * *

Chapter 19 – Hospital Wing

Madame Pomfrey and I are quite good friends. Probably not as good friends as McGonagall and the Sorting Hat, but nevertheless, I visit the nurse quite often. They're mostly Quidditch injuries, of course. The rest can be blamed on Lauren and pranks gone awry. Oh, and when I get into fights with guys vying to date my lady and my younger girl cousins.

An important thing to remember: Madame Pomfrey is extremely strict when it comes to visiting hours. I'm not kidding. There's the rare exception when she's in a wonderfully happy mood, but it's just best to adhere to the proper times. I would be more than happy to tell you the hours, but Pomfrey hides the master list and I'm way too lazy to otherwise find out. Not to mention that I've been at the Hospital Wing at all hours and days, so time just meshes together anyway.

So, I'd like to make a list of the times Lauren put me into the Hospital Wing. This is not an exaggeration, in fact, it's quite the truth:

1. First year train ride: broken nose and jaw  
2. Lauren's trick made me get knocked out by Mandrakes  
3. The time she hit me with a Beater's bat  
4. The time she hit me with a Firewhiskey bottle  
5. The time she hit me with Stupefy, rendering me unconscious accidentally

Those are a few of the times I had to visit Pomfrey on Lauren's account; one of them I didn't remember. Lauren also sent Derek there that time he called her a Death Eater or something, but I think he deserved that. But of course, other people have sent me there and I in turn also sent people there. It works both ways. Quidditch is a popular reason.

1. Lauren or Albus hit a Bludger into my shoulder  
2. I distracted Albus and indirectly sent him to the Hospital Wing  
3. Lily hit me with Patrick's Beater bat  
4. At one point, the entire Gryffindor and Slytherin teams were in the Hospital Wing  
5. Sophie got pushed into one of the towers and Derek went quite mental

**Moral of the story:** As you can see, Quidditch can be quite a violent game. Girls can be horribly violent as well. I'm still here today and that's all that matters, right?

Lauren and I had a long history of making memories in the Hospital Wing, one of which is detailed below. Usually pride got in the way, but our sixth year yielded a lot more than pride and stubbornness:

"This is _all _your fault, Potter, you arrogant tosser."

"Hey! Watch the foul language, DiGiacomo. You're lucky that my bone split in half, or I'd—"

"Do you two ever stop arguing? You're constantly at each other's throats. And Mr. Potter, if you'd not flail your broken arm around, we could start with the treatment."

"Alright, Poppy, do me your worst."

I had broken plenty of bones in the past, and hearts, so this was mere routine to me. Madame Pomfrey and I were quite the friends by now, and if I buttered her up right, I could call her Poppy. McGonagall still mystified me, however. Why she was so adamant against Minny was beyond me…

"Why are you here, anyway?" I asked Lauren. "And how is it _all_ my fault?"

She hesitated. "I feel… obligated. Yeah."

"After your boyfriend broke my arm?"

"He's not my boyfriend. You overreacted."

Madame Pomfrey was shaking her head as she performed her fancy healing spells or whatever. I don't think she expected any different.

"I was defending your honor, first of all. Second of all, he had it coming regardless. "

Lauren didn't reply. Madame Pomfrey was done soon enough and asked me to flex my arm. It didn't hurt and bent naturally. Another successful fix to my fourth broken arm.

"You didn't answer my other question, DiGiacomo," I pointed out.

"Well… you shouldn't have done that. The Slytherins are unforgiving."

"You don't think I know that? After poking around with Albus and Scorpius, and everything with classes and the Quidditch rivalry? Everything I do has a point."

"I don't mean _that_," she snapped back.

"Oh, well, in _that_ case, some of your Slytherin peers have their heads so far up their arses—"

The nurse hemmed. "I don't want to see you in here tomorrow, Mr. Potter," Madame Pomfrey said.

"Don't worry, I've got detention. Pretty harmless in terms of damaging myself," I replied, hopping off the bed. To Lauren, I gave her a sarcastic remark. "I'd offer you my arm and walk you back, but I'd rather not get it broken again so soon after it was fixed."

"I'm perfectly capable of walking myself back, Potter. My legs aren't broken," she retorted. "That sort of attitude will get you more than a broken arm."

"Well, excuse me! I guess you Slytherins respond to verbal abuse, rather than to gentlemanly cues. Go on, your obligation has been met."

I noticed how Lauren bit the bottom of her lip. It was a total turn-on. She only did that when she felt some sort of emotion in that mean façade of a Slytherin shell. She spoke quickly and hurried off. I think she thanked me, which was an impressive feat. That was a compliment in itself.

**Moral of the story:** Landing yourself in the Hospital Wing can be a bonding moment, or quite simply a social hour when there's nothing to do but wait for Pomfrey to get to you. That is, especially, when you go down in flames with a best friend. The only exception might be if you're unconscious, but how often does that happen?

Connections are great and more numerous as you age. When you're particularly well-known around the circuit, items of certain… _value _are able to be bartered for. The more people you knew, the easier it got. Roxanne and I tended to get around the Slytherin and Ravenclaw circuit more frequently, while Derek covered bases with Hufflepuff. It was great that the Gryffindors were the sharing type. That, my friends, is another valuable trait of the amazing Gryffindors.

Roxanne claimed the prize for procuring our vice for the first time. She owed me for a prank we pulled in our fourth year, and a year later, her repayment was severely overdue. Yes, this is completely relevant to the topic. You'll see.

"Look how beautiful this is," she said, waving it in front of us. I reached out to take it from her, but she slapped my hand away. "Don't touch. Admire."

"You or the bottle?" I retorted.

"Both. You too, Derek."

"Where'd you get it, anyway?" Derek asked.

"A Seventh Year Ravenclaw I frequent with. A classy but fun bloke. Really easy to sway and all that. Yeah, it was my virtuous charm that got him to give it up."

"Virtue, yeah, that got him to pass it up," I said sarcastically. "It's lovely. Now, can we drink it?"

"Calling me promiscuous won't make me rush any faster, but since I do owe you from that time, why the hell not."

The cork flew across Derek and I's dormitory with a loud pop. She read the label, shrugged, and took a hearty swig from the bottle. I frowned at her audacity to take the first drink.

"You sure do have a way with your girl cousins," Derek said.

"Shut it, Derek," I replied, punching him in the shoulder.

Roxanne took another swig before passing it off to me. "Firewhiskey. It's good. Burns the back of my throat, but tastes good."

"I hope so, for that price," I said, drinking a good portion. Roxanne was right. Per usual. I think I could consider the bottle as proper compensation. I handed it to Derek once I was done.

The remaining Firewhiskey was split between us, and luckily, wasn't enough to make us sick, but did manage to give us a wicked headache when we awoke the next morning. I barely remembered the conversation before we started drinking. After that, it was a hazy blur. The headaches were so bad, we settled on seeing Pomfrey for a quick, easy cure to our misery.

The three of us heading in together was probably the first sign. Pomfrey tricking me into telling her that we indulged in Firewhiskey was probably the confirmatory sign.

"Brilliant, James," Roxanne said, smacking me upside the head and subsequently making the headache worse. "You might as well tell her your entire life story at this rate."

"I couldn't help it," I whined. "McGonagall and Pomfrey are in cahoots!"

"You're making it worse," Derek hissed.

Pomfrey shook her head and walked back to her apothecary store, rummaging through it with less gusto than I had hoped. She returned with three small vials, each with a blue-ish liquid inside.

"Drink it, and your symptoms will go away," she started to say, eyeing me in particular. "Don't let me catch you a second time, or I might have conveniently run out of stock."

She shooed us out, even though she was feeling pretty generous. My ego was no longer bruised. The three of us clinked vials and drank. The effects were immediate.

"Thank you, Pomfrey!" I exclaimed, kissing the magic vial.

"Now what?" asked Derek. "We learn how to make this stuff?"

"Better," Roxanne said, grinning.

"Better?"

"Yeah, better. We'll build up our tolerances instead!" I said.

"Precisely, James. There's more Firewhiskey floating around Hogwarts. We just got to find it!"

And find it we did.

**Moral of the story: **If it seems like we take Madame Pomfrey for granted, then you're right. With quick remedies and quick fixes, it's almost hard to appreciate her presence sometimes. But we do, especially me, aspiring to be a Healer and all. Her knowledge is incredible and most times you don't have to stay in the boring rooms for long. Remember, she's just as crafty as McGonagall, so nothing gets past her. Nothing.

That time I indirectly caused a Bludger to hit into Albus yielded interesting results, including that lovely Howler I received. Lily and I decided to visit him the next day since the Hospital Wing was filled with patients suffering from a Potions accident. I heard Finnigan blew up his cauldron and started a chain reaction, but that's just rumor. Rumors are closer to the truth than any other form of passed information. Pomfrey had to give Albus a potion to help dull the pain before she could perform those healing spells. I offered, but he threatened to kill me anyway once his shoulder was better.

"Sorry! Sheesh, Al," I said, scooting over toward his bad shoulder. Lily was busy mothering over his injuries and shooting me harsh glances every so often.

"Don't look at me like that, Lily."

"Look what you did to our poor brother! At least it's only me here. Vega and Rose would probably want to string you up right about now. And our mother, too."

"I can't please all the women, Lily. There's not enough James to go around, family or not."

"Stop being an arrogant toerag for one second and make amends with Albus."

Albus glared at me with contempt. The only thing he had said to me the entire time was the death threat, so I probably wanted to make amends. He was my brother, after all.

"Okay, okay. I apologize, Albus, for distracting you so the Bludger would hit you so my team would win. And that Pomfrey is busy and I can't do healing spells because I haven't graduated my N.E.W.T.S. yet."

It was as sincere as it was going to get. Albus would realize this.

"You still owe me, James."

"Excuse me? Absolutely not!"

"James, don't be a prat and do what he says."

"Lily, you obviously don't understand how apologies work."

"I know all about this deal, and I agree with Al."

I looked at the both of them, wide-eyed. "Blasphemy!" I yelled.

"Quiet down!" I heard Pomfrey shouting from the other room.

"Regardless," Albus began to say. "Deliver this note for me… to Vega."

I won't get into the exact details of this note and what it entailed, but it might make for another story in another chapter. The point is, I atoned for my folly as best as I could and made amends with Albus. Sending him to the Hospital Wing was more trouble than it was worth, but at least Gryffindor won. He was still upset with me for a whole week after, but Lily and I got him to come round with the promise of Butterbeer and a large bag of candy during a Hogsmeade trip.

**Moral of the story:** Don't unintentionally send Bludgers into your brother's arms. Also, girls are hard to please.

On a more serious note, Pomfrey was both surprised and pleased at the news that I wanted to become a Healer, especially when my Potions and Herbology skills were unparalleled to my peers. I think she tolerated me better. And so, she let me stay around the Hospital Wing and helped teach me a few tricks to better prepare me for St. Mungo's. That is, when I had homework to be done and Lauren to be entertaining. Seventh Year was certainly eventful.

**Moral of the story: **Butter Pomfrey up to get special treatment and be more generous when it comes to visiting hours and quick cures. Socialize, heal, and make up. Hangover headaches are awful. Girls are still insane.


End file.
